Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Memories don't live like people do.....they always 'member you*

Officially, Memorial Day is a holiday in observervance of those who died while serving this country. Unofficially, it's the Summer Kickoff with a plethora of cookouts, a shitload of festivities, and a smathering of summer fashions to come. And in true form, I kicked it HARD that weekend. Dinner and dancing with friends one night. Strolling a street fair, crashing a few barbeques, chilling at a lounge 'til last call. Grabbing breakfast with old and new friends at a place that provided ghettotainment from the moment we walked in. Riding the train at the crack of dawn. Experienced different but extremely delicious Thai food. Reunited with Hustle. Handled business on a holiday. Late dinner with a hodgepodge of friends.

Instead of giving a play by play, my friends and I composed a list of quotes from the weekend as we sat at the ghettotainment dining experience. I started scribbling on the paper tablecloth and the list grew and grew as we laughed on stolen breaths. I'm surprised none of us required the Heimlich in the midst of all that laughter. I've added some quotes to the list.

"Text love is the shit. I love me some text love. I fucks with text lovin'." (said by Burger. yes, I ran into Burger. I wonder if that was some reference to his digital post-it. Even if it were, seeing him just validated my gratefulness that we never actually dated. He would get on my nerves. Quick.)

" I was supposed to be in the East Hamptons for the holiday but realized BAM (Brooklyn Academy of Music has an Annual Dance Africa Street Festival) was where I had to be seen." (must say it in the most snobbish British accent you can muster. Mind you the person who said it was no where near British but every time we repeated this quote that's the way we said it. hahahahaha)

"Girrrrl, do you see his moobies?"
"His what?"
"Moobies. Moobs. Man boobs, girl! His rack is bigger than mine. How do you play with moobies?" (Thus sparking a 5 minute discussion on the art of moobs and what the hell to do with them.)

"Wait, they won't take credit cards but they'll take personal checks?" (A true what the fuck moment)

"Girl I thought I'd find you grinding yo ass on the bar like last time."

"Here's the bus. And here's Eve under the bus."

"I'ma call the cops. I'ma call the fuckin' cops!"
"You wanna call the cops?? Call the fuckin' cops. Nine. One. One. That's the number. Tell them Officer ****** is at the door. (this said as the officer takes his shield from under his "Security" shirt)"

"Don't give me no bullshit. I want a porterhouse penis."
"You give me 22 minutes and I'll give you the world."

"Wait, damn I need a shot of Patron before I answer that."

"Girl you got GPS in your pussy or what?"

"Shit, that had to be a sheet cake from BJ's to cover all them big bitches". (Back story: The ghettotainment unfolded on the street below as about 5 really large women came out of the party below covered in cake, ready to fight somebody. But instead of wiping the cake off and throwing it to the ground, they ate it.)

"Oh that's cake?? Girl I thought she had white braids. GHE-TTTO!"

"Crazy begets crazy. That's all I know."

"The Oracle says you attract young boys."
"Michael Jackson, is that you???"

" THAT your man?"

"You chose me?? Nigga I chose you. Don't play!" Said at approximately 5:30 in the morning at the table next to us loud enough for the entire restaurant to stop, look and giggle.

"Oh shit! That chick looks like an extra from Idlewild! Rooster, is that you??"

"Gurrrrl. Look at my breasts. This is the best bra. EVER. Feel it. Gurrrl, you gotta go to Nordstroms for a bra fitting. Let them feel all over your breast. They will do you right. Nordstroms, girl. Nordstroms." (At some point, we all thought this chick knew someone in our group. We later realized after she left, that she was a complete stranger! hahahahaha)

"I don't mind someone asking me 'what do you do?' if they're making 6 figures too. But if its the chick from the register at McDonald's, she's just trying to make a come up"

"Nah. Her family's American but she's Haitian by penetration."

"Will somebody tell Lurch the White Shadow to stop blocking the chocolate eye candy. I don't want no one thinking he's with me."

"Uh oh. Don't make eye contact with Idlewild. She's recruiting for the ho stroll."

" stay making a mess in the bed"

"Damn, who ordered the side of ass crack with the ribs??!"

"That fast hump bang bang is for amateurs. Stick with the pro."

While I recognize that Memorial Day Weekend is an holiday of revered remembrance and summer kickoffs, this is a holiday of memories for me. I lived, I laughed, and loved. Typing these quotes, even a week later, brings it all back. I'm still savoring the memories of my memorial weekend. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

*I know my brooklynites are proud that I quoted a reggae song. Damn, after all these years you chicks are rubbing off on me. hahahahahaha


rashad said...

The next challenge will be to take all of those quotes, and to write a story with them. quotes like that are Tyler Perry's dream...haha

Eve said...

Whoo! I laughed like it was the first time...I am quite proud to have thought up a few of those. "GPS in your pussy" is an E.V.E special. You and your damned stalker!!!

nyc/caribbean ragazza said...

These quotes were priceless. ha!