Thursday, June 19, 2008

Love is a Battlefield

When people are in relationships why do they want everyone around them in one??? It's like trying to induct you into a secret society - they can't tell you all the benefits but try to convince you to join anyway. Like one of those cults - they show you all the good to lure you in then brainwash you and have you walking around in a homemade dress down to your cankles made from an old sheet trying to recruit people to be more like you. GuyGuru is in love. I've watched him grow from a "love is for suckas" cynical bastard to a "love is for lovahs" cynical bastard. He's not sappy with it. He's just absofuckinlutely happy with the place he's in life. And since he's so happy, I guess he wants me to feel that brand of happiness. My BFF, Prego (aka Zilla aka Shenegro), has been married for ummm 3 years I think(she's going to kill me when she reads that I can't remember how long she's been married but hey I remember her anniversary). Lately I have to say she hasn't been as forceful with her "don't you want to settle down?" but I blame that on the pregnancy. Once my niece is here I'm pretty sure I will hear about my lack of husband annnnd baby. LOL My godbrother is even in on the shenanigans. He's been married ummmmmm I think 5 years (damn I'm bad at this) and he's ALWAYS on my case with: "You ain't found a man, YET?!" or his "You mean to tell me you can't find no one to settle down with?". I'm not even going to start with my family. Let's just say my grandmother has questioned my sexuality because I refuse to bring a man around the family (SIDEBAR: would it be rude to tell my grandmother "I'm strickly dickly"; just wondering......) I swear this cult is attacking me from all angles. Can't they just give me a pamphlet that I can throw in the garbage can on the corner like I do when the Jesusfreaks give me one on the street???

With the exception of grandma, these people, along with my legions of friends, fans, stalkers, and stans, are pretty much aware of how I feel about the subject of relaysheepships and . Yes, my feelings have changed (love is no longer on my shit list) but I'm in no rush to sign up for the cult either. I'm still working on me.

I get that my friends and families are worried that my opportunity might past me by because I'm enjoying my freedom. I even had a date tell me "you enjoy being free a little too much". I chuckled when I should have said "Dude, you're just mad because I'm not clinging to you."

In the past couple of weeks I've witnessed some harsh realities that began all in the name of love. An impending most likely nasty divorce. A love affair with a con artist who probably won't ever be punished for the amounts he swindled. I will admit that these situations initially had me running for the hills and hiding under the covers. I wanted to put love back at the top of my shit list because I was reminded of its evil side. To see people I care about go through the agony and heartbreak is numbing. But then I realized that I can't take on the pain of others, just as my friends couldn't take away mine. To support doesn't mean to fix. Another lesson learned in my journey.

So while love and relationships aren't on the top of my shit list, please believe they get the "umph, I see you, sucka" side eye. But I've added a wink and a chuckle to the mix because it's just not that serious anymore. To allow them to remain at the top of said shit list would mean they won the war. Pat Benatar sang it best - "Love is a Battlefield". I'm just in the process of figuring out exactly what is worth the fight. And what's the cost of membership in this cult. But ummm can we make the uniform for the cult a lil bit more sexy since I don't have cankles??? That's non-negotiable.


rashad said...

In 2 weeks when you fall hard in love, and you're wide open, doing all types of nasty sex shit you said and thought you'd never do, I want you to type a rebuttal to this heinous entry and bow down before the love gods..hahahaha

makeba said...

I've never understood why relationship people try to convince single people to be in relationships either! Trust, you have not let no man pass you by because you single, just means the right one has not come your way. Do you girl, take your time, just know the thoughts of a relationship will catch up to eventually, you ready?