A Trip to Fantasy Island

The other night I was in the midst of an online fantasy shopping spree (you know when you fill your "shopping basket" with a ton of beautiful finds in your size and oh and ah over them and imagine all the hot exclusive places you will wear these lovelies before seeing the total and quickly hit the little red X in the right hand corner before you lose your mind and hit purchase...hahahaa). As I'm streaming through the pages upon pages of shoes at Nordstrom's, nothing is quite catching my eye. Yeah those flip flops are a cute necessity but there is no ummph to them. No va va voom. Until I landed on these.

Hello Lovah! was my inital reaction to this shoe (SATC fans know exactly how to say it...hhahaha). Be still my heart was the next. These shoes are hot!!!! I've written before about my love affair with red shoes. There is something inexplicably carnal about a red shoe. The sex appeal of a red shoe is undeniable. And this shoe lives up to the fantasy. Ooooh and a 4 inch heel too??? Hot damn, I would want to do me in these shoes. hahahaha

I feel me slipping my feet into them and the softness of the fabric embracing my freshly pedicured feet. I see me and these stunners all over town - out on dates, at soirees, wherever they want to go. I imagine pairing them with about 10 different outfits already in my closet, yearning for the opportunity to paired up with such a shoe. I could play them classy sexy and pair them with black wrap dress. I can play them hot wanton seductress and pair them with dark denim cuffed shorts and a wifebeater. Oooh I think about the wedding I have to go to at the end of the summer that these would be perfect for. And yes, I would build my outfit around my shoe. Doesn't everyone???

Lets make this fantasy a reality. There are on sale (50% off) and I can't bare to leave this for the next chick. First, select size. That's easy. I can do that. 10, please *(yes, I have big feet but I like to think of it as a) 10= dimepiece - which is hot these days and b) I need big feet to balance out my big butt...hahahahahaa). Then, select color. Okay, that's easy. Red, please. Wait, where's red?? Beige. Black. Green. No red. What. the. fuck??? How can you do this to me, Nordstrom?? Beige is blah and does nothing for my skin tone. I don't want a black shoe. I have plenty of black shoes. And green??? That green looks like strained baby peas. No thank you. I WANT HOT SEXY TEMPTING SEDUCTRESS RED, DAMNIT.

Wait, I'm resourceful. So I do what anyone would do. I google my shoe. "Max Studio Sidewinder". And wouldn't you know, a plethora of sites pop up. Oooh I'ma have my shoe. NOT.

None of those freaking sites had my size in red. Some of the sites didn't even carry the red. What the hell is wrong with this picture?? The one time I try to make my fantasy a reality, I can't. Why oh why did I look at the shoes on Nordstrom?? The heartbreak is too great to bear. Like Mariah said, "We belong together, baby". No wearing the stunners on date. No oohs and ahs at events and soirees. No pairing the shoes with the hot sexy teddy from Victoria Secret for someone special. Sigh.

This was a instore (online) heartbreak (N.E. fans/stans know what I'm talking about). Unless. Maybe, I'll go to Nordstroms. In person. Live and in living color. And strut in my red object of desire. Oooh I feel all tingly. Not pushing the dress or the shorts or the teddy to the back of the closet yet. I still have hope. Keep hope alive, my friends. KEEP. HOPE. ALIVE.

A Stan's Tribute

Today, the group New Edition will be honored at an event for their contributions to the R&B world.

"New Edition will be presented with the Golden Note Award at ASCAP's 21st annual Rhythm & Soul Music Awards. The ceremony -- which also honors the organization's top songwriters and publishers in R&B/hip-hop -- will take place June 23 in Los Angeles.A progenitor of the '90s boy band craze, New Edition is celebrating its 25th anniversary as a group. Members Ricky Bell, Michael Bivins, Bobby Brown, Ralph Tresvant, Ronnie DeVoe and Johnny Gill are known for the R&B/pop hits "Candy Girl," "Cool It Now," "Mr. Telephone Man" and "Hit Me Off," among others. New Edition joins such previous ASCAP Golden Note Award honorees as Lionel Richie, Stevie Wonder, Jay-Z and Quincy Jones."(source)

Okay anyone who knows me knows I am an absolute New Edition fan. Like total fan. Borderline stan if you will. But I'm not alone in my devotion. It's one of the few things the Fantastic Four (the BFFs) collectively agree on. Its one of those entities that bind us together. New Edition was the soundtrack of our youth. We bought every album. Used to tape every new video and learn every dance move. We even planned a group wedding we're we would all marry a member of the group together (Prego and I fought over Mike Bivins...lmao). Almost 6 years ago, they performed at the Beacon Theater in New York City. It was late July. And my BFF, Twiggs was about 8 months pregnant. And yes she attended the concert. The rest of the Fantastic Four crew threatened to never speak to her again if she went into labor during the concert. Even though, we later thought that if she did happen to go into labor during the concert, that maybe Ronnie, Johnny, Ricky, Mike, and Ralph might show up at the hosptal to offer congratulations after the concert. HA! But fortunately or unfortunately, she gave birth about a month later.

I can't believe they are celebrating 25 years in the biz. Maybe it's because I can't believe that I've known anything for 25 years. I was rocking (scratch that) grooving to the sounds of New Edition at 7?! Developing my first celebrity crush at 8 (oh Mike how I loved you so...which is so funny because he is no where near my height requirement of late...hahahaha)? Attending every New Edition concert that came to town (my true motivation for remaining an A student). Wow, that wasn't all just yesterday??? If they're 25 years older, am I 25 years older too??? Sheeeeiiiiitttttt (still missing the Wire)!!!

I know I've been on a video posting kick lately. Just let me indulge just one more time (or a hundred times; this is after all, my blog...hahahahahahaa)


This is where it all began...how many of us didn't think we were a Candy Girl???


I still don't know what the hell a Popcorn love is but don't you know it's the real thing, gurrrl? LOL

New Edition - Is This The End
Uploaded by clcbarueri

Oh teenage heartbreak at its finest. When this song came out, I had no freaking idea what this felt like. Damn, I wish for those days. LOL

NEW EDITION - Count Me Out
Uploaded by maKash

Still waiting for this type of devotion! hahahahahahaha

New Edition - Mr. Telephone Man
Uploaded by New-Edition

Now I realize that this song is borderline stalkerific but what the hell did I know back then?! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


Warning from friends to either (a) not be stalkerific or (b) don't ummmm come to the party to soon! hahahahahahahahahhaha

New Edition - You're not my kind of girl
Uploaded by welcomeback

If this is not the most blatant but gentlemanliest way a man has ever rejected a chick. It's still fucked up though! hahahahahahaaa


Okay, so I still know damn near every dance move in this video. And yes, I'm proud to say it! HA!

New Edition . N.E. Heartbreak - Ma-Tvideo France2
*CaptainFunkOnTheRADIO!*




SATURDAY NIGHT. www.radiobeton.com.




http://www.myspace.com/captainffonk.

Mots-clés : soul funk

Video de captainfunk

This was the flyest, dopest, freshest video. With all the celebrity cameos. The Fantastic Four couldn't wait to live this life with our boos. ahahahahahahahahaha (SIDEBAR: I had to translate French in order to embed this video. Do you see my devotion people???? hahahahahaha)



Still one of the most beautiful love songs. One day it will play at my wedding reception during the New Edition hour (yes, I said hour...hahahahahaha)



They still got it. But Diddy did 'em dirty, man!

Okay, going to renew my New Edition Fan Club membership now. I wonder if my NE Heartbreak t-shirt still fits!

Circle of One

There is an innocence that I've lost. Never to regain again. I've taken off the rose colored glasses. The ones you gave me at birth. Now all I see is disappointment and despair. It was always me and you against the world. That's what you said. That's what you promised. Now, you made your choice and I see I was the only soldier in my army. For 32 years, I was spoon fed the notion that nothing was more important that me. Those damn rose colored glasses. You chose left as I was waving to you on the right. Now I see everything is more important than me. The totem pole is upside down and I'm realistically at the bottom. Well, at least for you. But not for me as I remove myself from the situation. I'm crushed but isn't life about learning the lesson and moving on in your journey??? So I'm left with no other choice but to dust myself off, pick up the pieces and move on as I leave an innocence behind. And step on those damn rose colored glasses.

I want to be the one to walk in the sun......

Yesterday after I posted the Pat Benatar song, I couldn't get 80's music out of my head. Something about the music from that time in my life, you can't help but grove. It didn't matter if the artist was black or white. Shit, half the time we didn't even know what the singer looked like until we used our allowance to buy the album or we happen to catch the video on Video Hot Traxx or MTV (remember, when they actually played music videos on the Music Television Channel??? hahahahahah). Yes, everything about the 80's was fucked up (Hello Reaganomics, "ketchup is a vegetable", just say no a la Nancy Reagan and shoulder pads - need I say more??? oh wait I can't forget crack, I did grow up in Harlem...hahahahaha), but the music was good. So in keeping with the theme of my singleness and honoring the 80's baby in me, here's my Fun Friday Blast from the Past. Go 'head...dance in your seat if you want to. I won't laugh at you. hahahahahaha (that was me laughing with you, not at you. hahahahahahahaaa)



Okay, I have to confess. I thought Cyndi Lauper was THEEEE cooolest chick. I played that record until it was scratched. I used to dance around my house with my neon green leggings and my mid calf length ballet tu-tu to try to emulate her look. Thank goodness my mother wasn't camera happy during that stage in my life. hahahahaha

Oh and that line "when the working day is done/oh girls they want to have fun"? I thought she said "oh what in the world have theyyyy done?/oh girls they want to have fun"....I could butcher a song back in the day...hahahahahahahaa

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

Love is a Battlefield

When people are in relationships why do they want everyone around them in one??? It's like trying to induct you into a secret society - they can't tell you all the benefits but try to convince you to join anyway. Like one of those cults - they show you all the good to lure you in then brainwash you and have you walking around in a homemade dress down to your cankles made from an old sheet trying to recruit people to be more like you. GuyGuru is in love. I've watched him grow from a "love is for suckas" cynical bastard to a "love is for lovahs" cynical bastard. He's not sappy with it. He's just absofuckinlutely happy with the place he's in life. And since he's so happy, I guess he wants me to feel that brand of happiness. My BFF, Prego (aka Zilla aka Shenegro), has been married for ummm 3 years I think(she's going to kill me when she reads that I can't remember how long she's been married but hey I remember her anniversary). Lately I have to say she hasn't been as forceful with her "don't you want to settle down?" but I blame that on the pregnancy. Once my niece is here I'm pretty sure I will hear about my lack of husband annnnd baby. LOL My godbrother is even in on the shenanigans. He's been married ummmmmm I think 5 years (damn I'm bad at this) and he's ALWAYS on my case with: "You ain't found a man, YET?!" or his "You mean to tell me you can't find no one to settle down with?". I'm not even going to start with my family. Let's just say my grandmother has questioned my sexuality because I refuse to bring a man around the family (SIDEBAR: would it be rude to tell my grandmother "I'm strickly dickly"; just wondering......) I swear this cult is attacking me from all angles. Can't they just give me a pamphlet that I can throw in the garbage can on the corner like I do when the Jesusfreaks give me one on the street???

With the exception of grandma, these people, along with my legions of friends, fans, stalkers, and stans, are pretty much aware of how I feel about the subject of relaysheepships and . Yes, my feelings have changed (love is no longer on my shit list) but I'm in no rush to sign up for the cult either. I'm still working on me.

I get that my friends and families are worried that my opportunity might past me by because I'm enjoying my freedom. I even had a date tell me "you enjoy being free a little too much". I chuckled when I should have said "Dude, you're just mad because I'm not clinging to you."

In the past couple of weeks I've witnessed some harsh realities that began all in the name of love. An impending most likely nasty divorce. A love affair with a con artist who probably won't ever be punished for the amounts he swindled. I will admit that these situations initially had me running for the hills and hiding under the covers. I wanted to put love back at the top of my shit list because I was reminded of its evil side. To see people I care about go through the agony and heartbreak is numbing. But then I realized that I can't take on the pain of others, just as my friends couldn't take away mine. To support doesn't mean to fix. Another lesson learned in my journey.

So while love and relationships aren't on the top of my shit list, please believe they get the "umph, I see you, sucka" side eye. But I've added a wink and a chuckle to the mix because it's just not that serious anymore. To allow them to remain at the top of said shit list would mean they won the war. Pat Benatar sang it best - "Love is a Battlefield". I'm just in the process of figuring out exactly what is worth the fight. And what's the cost of membership in this cult. But ummm can we make the uniform for the cult a lil bit more sexy since I don't have cankles??? That's non-negotiable.

When keeping it real goes wrong....

I attended my BFF, D.'s son's graduation on Saturday. He graduated from 8th grade. He's on his way to high school. We were so proud. Like us in the Fantastic Four, he attended a catholic elementary school. With the culture of violence and poor quality of education in many neighborhood public schools, he was NOT going to become a statistic in the New York City Bored of Miseducation. So off to catholic school with strict nuns he went. And of course the graduation was in a church. 2 hours. 98 degree weather. Fans, no air conditioning. But this isn't the reason keeping it real goes wrong. Here's when keeping it real goes wrong:
At the end of the ceremony, all the kids are filing out of the church, all smiles and happy. Families began to file out after them wanting to preserve the many memories of the day with snapshots. Traffic to descend the steps is backed up worse the highway near my house when the Yankees play. Once I reach the bottom of the steps into the sweltering unforgiving heat, I hear a bit of a commotion behind me. I don't pay any attention to it because I too want to capture digital memories of D.'s son in his cap and gown. A few minutes later, I was informed that the commotion I heard at the top of the stairs was a fight. Yes, a FIGHT. In a church, a few steps away from a marble basin of holy water and statues of various religious deities. And no, it wasn't the kids, it was their families. This fight was complete with fist flying, ripped shirts, and claims of "I'm on 8th Ave, bitch! You know where to find me!" Apparently, (of course we got the scoop, the 411, the bonchinche later) 2 children in the class had been having problems all year. So I guess, the families decided to settle the score once and for all at the graduation. From a catholic school. In a church. Lawwwd have mercy!!! LOL

Maybe its the fact that I grew up in the Catholic Church but does anyone else see the problem with this. First of all, how are you going to fight in church??? Fight on the corner in front of the church but not in the church!!! How are you going curse and fight in church?? Is there any place sacred anymore??? Secondly, how are you going to ruin your child's special day by embarrassing them in front of their friends and respective families?? I graduated from 8th grade ummmmm 18 years ago (dayumm...lol). I remember everything about that day: what I wore, where my family sat, my valedictorian speech, taking pictures with family and friends afterward, having my first boy-girl party for graduation (complete with a DJ...I was supafresh! hahahahaha). Can you imagine the memories these children are left with? "My momma got her ass kicked at my 8th grade graduation" "My pops/uncle/momma's boyfriend had a fly ass suit on for my graduation but it got dirty when he wrestled so and so's father/uncle/momma's boyfriend to the ground."

I understand having beef. Hello, I grew up in what I like to call Harlem - The New Jack City Era. But settling that beef inside of a church is just wrong. I don't care how real it is.

Back away from the Kool Aid....

I just found out that another one of my best friends is pregnant. One is due this summer and now this one is due probably late 08 - early 09. Out of the Fantastic Four (what I like to call us...hahahaha), I am the only one with no children. From the outside looking in, most would probably think that I am bothered by this. But from the inside looking out, this just delays me having to give birth. None of us ever want to steal thunder from the other. Its an unspoken rule we have. We never compete against each other. We never try to outshine the others. We all shine in our own way. So in true friendship, I will allow D. and Zilla to have their moments of mommyhood without me intruding. LOL

Seriously, I am happy for both of them. Two more babies to spoil and give back to their parents. Two more cuties to buy books for and read to them (Confession: I love reading to children. character voices and all...hahahahaha). Two more kids to share embarrassing back in the day mommy stories with. One more baby shower to plan. Shit. This shower business is a racket but more on that after Zilla's shower. I suspect she's increased her readership of this blog to find out details about her own baby shower. Nosey ass. I see you, Zilla.

While mommyhood seems to be on my mind lately (only because of the shower and the impending birth of my niece), I can't help but wonder if and when I'll be ready for "the final frontier". But no worries, I'm not drinking the water or the Kool Aid from either of them. This seems to be contagious.

Summer Blush..

The bus was crowded but thankfully cool because it was definitely a scorcher outside. I made my way to the back of the bus and found an oasis for me and my shopping bags. As the bus bustled down Broadway, I ran through my mental checklist of the errands that still needed to be run before I could crash under my AC.
"Is it hot enough for you?" I hear to my left in an accent that is definitely not from any corner of this country.
I turn and see that the guy speaking to me is a very tall, very round white man with blue eyes that actually sparkled like pools of water to match the pools of sweat streaming down the sides of his face. I reply "Yes, I love summer. I've been waiting months for this." with a chuckle. I turn back to gaze out at the sweating suckers on the sidewalk when my bus neighbor continues the conversation.
"So what is there to do here in New York?"
As I try to place what corner of the world his accent is from (I guessed New Zealand or Australia), I respond "Whatever you want to do. There is always something going on in the city."
As I've said before, people always talk to me on public transportation, especially tourists. In a strange way, I like to think that in that short span of time I've dispelled a couple of rumors about New Yorkers (we are not rude) and Black women(we are not all starring in videos shaking our asses with ten different baby daddies).
The conversation continues as I give him a brief rundown of where he could get information on what's going on here in the city. I suggest a few restaurants, attractions, etc.
"You seem to know a lot about this city. Are you from here?"
I laugh because my social butterfly status is exposed and reply "Yes, I'm from here. Born and raised right here."
"Have you ever been to South Africa?"
"No I haven't but I plan on going next year with a friend of mine. (yes, that's the truth. lol) Is that where you're from?"
"Yes, yes. Johannesburg. You will love it and they will love you. You are breathtaking."
Huh?? Breathtaking??? Who says that?? Am I blushing? Why are my cheeks hot???
I manage to stammer out a "thank you" because I was completely caught off guard and slightly embarrassed. The entire time I'm thinking I'm just being a friendly New Yorker and this guy is hitting on me! WTF??? I never saw this coming primarily because he's white. Not being racist or anything but come on, that shit doesn't happen everyday where a white man not only strikes up a conversation but is flirting. With me. Go figure.

"So what are you doing this evening?" he inquires.
"Oh I'll be home, sitting under the AC making invitations for my best friend's baby shower." (once again, the truth. I swear. LOL)
"That's too bad. I was hoping you could accompanying me to some of the places you've mentioned. Would you reconsider?"
"Oh thank you, but I can't. I'm making over 100 invitations by hand and I need to get them in the mail ASAP."
The bus makes a turn and I realize my stop is the stop right after the turn. I didn't want the guy to think I was bailing off the bus because he scared the shit out of me, so I begin to gather my very heavy bags.
"Getting off already??"
"Yeah, I have to run into a couple of stores in this neighborhood."
"Well...it was indeed a pleasure speaking with you. I may check out some of the places you recommended. Thank you."
"You're welcome. Enjoy your visit." I say as I hop off the bus.

As I walked to Kinko's to pick up my copies, I couldn't help but wonder about my bus convo. If I didn't have to make these invitations, would I have accepted his invitation??? If he looked more like Brad Pitt and less like a young Dick Cheney (complete with the 7 months pregnant belly)would that have swayed my decision?? And if I did go out with him, would I try to justify it by saying "Well, technically he's African."? On the flip side, he could have been some international serial rapist/killer and I could have just saved my own life. Hey, I watch Law & Order:SVU. Sick fuckers come in all shapes, shades, and sizes.

Breathtaking??? Really? Me??? Nahhhh. He was just trying to score a date I laugh to myself. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm attractive but I never would associate the word breathtaking with me. Breathtaking is reserved for Hollywood beauties and the natural wonders of the world of which I am neither. But I must be flattered because my cheeks are still hot or is it the beaming sun??

Say cheese......Finally!

I have been a butterfly flying from flower to flower all about town ever since I got my camera back. Yes, the infamous ordeal with Best Buy is now over. And now you, my legions of friends, fans, stalkers, and stans, can resume your shopping experience at Best Buy.

I received a voicemail from Best Buy stating something like "Ummm this message is for The Resident Butterfly. We ummmm have your camera back in the store. Please pick it up when you can." Okay so first thought was, "Camera back in the store?? Whatthefuckdoesthatmean???? Is is fixed or what??" So instead of getting worked up over nada, I marched into Best Buy looking extra cute with suppressed attitude underneath. I have no idea why I put that much effort into my 'look' to go to Best Buy. Maybe, if I looked professionally cute they would be least likely to arrest me if I slap the crap out of somebody if once again my camera came back unrepaired and with a new dent in the casing.

So I saunter over to the Geek Squad with the Marc Jacobs sunglasses still perched on my face and wait my turn. As the older gentleman walks away from the counter, I extend my paperwork to the Geek behind the counter, with a "I received a phone call about my camera" said with as much cool snobbery I could muster before the attitude made its way to the surface. He looks it up in the computer, makes a face, and looks at the paper again. "Is there a problem?" I ask, still chill but I feel a little neck roll as I say it. "No, no problem, but I remember you. You cried when you dropped it off. I can't believe we still have your camera. That was a while ago." Damn, I was hoping I could forget that little crying episode in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently not. But I explained to him the ordeal of Best Buy keeping my camera for over a month and then sending it pack unrepaired with a brand new dent. I left out the "it took me a week to calm down enough just to come back in the store to have the situation rectified and not burn this bitch down". Didn't want to scare off the Geek.

He walks into the back of the Geek dungeon in search of my camera and as I wait I think of all the fun events that my camera missed while being out of commission. The Geek walks back to the counter with a bubble wrapped contraption in his hand. Uh-oh! Why is my camera all wrapped like that??? Sunglasses off?? Check. Hand on hip?? Check. I was ready to bring it up in BestBuy at 10:30 in the morning (yeah, I was pressed! hahahaha). He hands it me as he returns to the computer to print something out. I gingerly unwrap the camera thinking this time its in a million pieces. My attitude is bubbling just ready to spill over. on to the counter. I finally unwrap the bubble wrap and there she is. My camera. In one piece. No more dents. All shiny and looking brand new. And I beam. Just as bright as the metal on my camera. "Hello lovah" (My Sex and the City fans know exactly how to say that phrase). The Geek informs me that the lens, the casing, and the motherboard (I think that's what he called it) have been replaced. "Uh huh. Does that mean it works?". The Geek chuckled in a oh-how cute-and clueless-this-chick-is kind of way. "Yes that means it works." I eased my fully charged lithium battery into its slot, closed the door, flipped the camera over and pressed the button. It felt like an eternity to hear that little ding. And I heard it!!!! Champagne for everyone!!!! hahhahahaha

I take a test picture just to make sure that it not only looks good but works as well. I am so happy I could almost reach across the counter and kiss the Geek. But I restrain myself. I can't go around kissing random Geeks.

I wanted to walk around the city with my camera in hand capturing every little detail as I walk down the street just like a tourist. But then I remember, tourists get on my nerves when they stop in the middle of a crowded street and start taking pictures of billboards and buildings and people and whatever else they capture through their lens. But I'm bursting with excitement. I have to release and take some pictures.

Sawagani: Flash fried Japanese River crabs @ Sushi Samba. (I don't think this is what my table mates had in mind when this was ordered but it was so pretty and interesting I had to take a picture...) And for the record, while I am pretty adventurous when it comes to food, hell no I didn't eat it.

Looking down at the pattern of my dress I noticed a heart in the middle, so I took a picture. Yes this was after a cocktail or 2. :)

Meatpacking District. The Flasher. Thankfully, I didn't get arrested! lol

(sidebar: that dress is underneath is uber short and uber HOT!!!!)

This was shrimp and grits @ Sunday Brunch. Delish. Especially with the unlimited mimosas. :)

However, I was mad at the Wonder bread when it was supposed to be garlic toast. Manny, you're slipping.

Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Superhero Fashion exhibit.

I want someone to make this for me as a Halloween costume (and find a stellar halloween party to attend as well. LOL). I don't even know what character this is but this look is HOT!!!!

5th Avenue. Metropolitan Museum of Art. Street performer in the middle of the street. hahahahaha

Can you see how much I've missed my camera???? However, while at the museum, I realized something isn't quite right with my camera. I used to have a feature called "continuous shot" where I could simply keep pressing the button and as I move the camera it would continue to take pictures. Well, since I wasn't supposed to be taking pictures in the museum, I wanted to hurry and get as many as possible before security caught me. So I tried to switch to this feature and it never came up on the menu. All I had was "single shot" and "10 sec timer". Noooo, I don't want those. I loved that little continuous shot feature. Where is it??? So now I have to take my camera back to Best Buy to find out what happened to my beloved feature in my beloved camera. But what if it takes 2 months to get it back?? That's practically the entire summer. I have weekend getaways, baby showers to attend (not as the guest of honor), wedding to travel to (not as the bride). I can't risk not capturing these moments of my life.

This is like a love affair. Key word affair. It feels good in the beginning. Does right by you until it gives up. You try to make it work but then something ain't quite right and its not the same. You're so elated just to have it but do you settle??? So do I stick it out and make it work or do I give up and trade it in for a newer model? Damn, what should I do???

Memories don't live like people do.....they always 'member you*

Officially, Memorial Day is a holiday in observervance of those who died while serving this country. Unofficially, it's the Summer Kickoff with a plethora of cookouts, a shitload of festivities, and a smathering of summer fashions to come. And in true form, I kicked it HARD that weekend. Dinner and dancing with friends one night. Strolling a street fair, crashing a few barbeques, chilling at a lounge 'til last call. Grabbing breakfast with old and new friends at a place that provided ghettotainment from the moment we walked in. Riding the train at the crack of dawn. Experienced different but extremely delicious Thai food. Reunited with Hustle. Handled business on a holiday. Late dinner with a hodgepodge of friends.

Instead of giving a play by play, my friends and I composed a list of quotes from the weekend as we sat at the ghettotainment dining experience. I started scribbling on the paper tablecloth and the list grew and grew as we laughed on stolen breaths. I'm surprised none of us required the Heimlich in the midst of all that laughter. I've added some quotes to the list.

"Text love is the shit. I love me some text love. I fucks with text lovin'." (said by Burger. yes, I ran into Burger. I wonder if that was some reference to his digital post-it. Even if it were, seeing him just validated my gratefulness that we never actually dated. He would get on my nerves. Quick.)

" I was supposed to be in the East Hamptons for the holiday but realized BAM (Brooklyn Academy of Music has an Annual Dance Africa Street Festival) was where I had to be seen." (must say it in the most snobbish British accent you can muster. Mind you the person who said it was no where near British but every time we repeated this quote that's the way we said it. hahahahaha)

"Girrrrl, do you see his moobies?"
"His what?"
"Moobies. Moobs. Man boobs, girl! His rack is bigger than mine. How do you play with moobies?" (Thus sparking a 5 minute discussion on the art of moobs and what the hell to do with them.)

"Wait, they won't take credit cards but they'll take personal checks?" (A true what the fuck moment)

"Girl I thought I'd find you grinding yo ass on the bar like last time."

"Here's the bus. And here's Eve under the bus."

"I'ma call the cops. I'ma call the fuckin' cops!"
"You wanna call the cops?? Call the fuckin' cops. Nine. One. One. That's the number. Tell them Officer ****** is at the door. (this said as the officer takes his shield from under his "Security" shirt)"

"Don't give me no bullshit. I want a porterhouse penis."
"You give me 22 minutes and I'll give you the world."

"Wait, damn I need a shot of Patron before I answer that."

"Girl you got GPS in your pussy or what?"

"Shit, that had to be a sheet cake from BJ's to cover all them big bitches". (Back story: The ghettotainment unfolded on the street below as about 5 really large women came out of the party below covered in cake, ready to fight somebody. But instead of wiping the cake off and throwing it to the ground, they ate it.)

"Oh that's cake?? Girl I thought she had white braids. GHE-TTTO!"

"Crazy begets crazy. That's all I know."

"The Oracle says you attract young boys."
"Michael Jackson, is that you???"

"Wait....is THAT your man?"

"You chose me?? Nigga I chose you. Don't play!" Said at approximately 5:30 in the morning at the table next to us loud enough for the entire restaurant to stop, look and giggle.

"Oh shit! That chick looks like an extra from Idlewild! Rooster, is that you??"

"Gurrrrl. Look at my breasts. This is the best bra. EVER. Feel it. Gurrrl, you gotta go to Nordstroms for a bra fitting. Let them feel all over your breast. They will do you right. Nordstroms, girl. Nordstroms." (At some point, we all thought this chick knew someone in our group. We later realized after she left, that she was a complete stranger! hahahahaha)

"I don't mind someone asking me 'what do you do?' if they're making 6 figures too. But if its the chick from the register at McDonald's, she's just trying to make a come up"

"Nah. Her family's American but she's Haitian by penetration."

"Will somebody tell Lurch the White Shadow to stop blocking the chocolate eye candy. I don't want no one thinking he's with me."

"Uh oh. Don't make eye contact with Idlewild. She's recruiting for the ho stroll."

"Damn...you stay making a mess in the bed"

"Damn, who ordered the side of ass crack with the ribs??!"

"That fast hump bang bang is for amateurs. Stick with the pro."

While I recognize that Memorial Day Weekend is an holiday of revered remembrance and summer kickoffs, this is a holiday of memories for me. I lived, I laughed, and loved. Typing these quotes, even a week later, brings it all back. I'm still savoring the memories of my memorial weekend. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

*I know my brooklynites are proud that I quoted a reggae song. Damn, after all these years you chicks are rubbing off on me. hahahahahaha

I'm back....sort of

I can't believe I haven't written a word since May 21. No blog writing. No book writing. nada. I have ideas swirling in my mind like water going down the drain but they always hit me at the most inopportune time like when I'm in the midst of a heavy conversation with friends or when I'm sitting on the porcelain throne or when I'm running (literally) from one appointment to the next. I have a great recap of quotes from Memorial Weekend scribbled on a paper tablecloth from a restaurant at 6 in the morning quoting my friends or people we encoutered over the weekend ("Gurrrrl, look at my breast. This is the best bra ever. I want to marry it" said by a complete drunken stranger who sparked a big boob conversation with my girls in a bar.) Maybe I'll post it tomorrow. A week later and it still makes me laugh! HA!

I know this isn't a typical post, just wanted my friends, fans, stalkers and stans to know I was okay and just taking a break from my passion. Stay tuned......