What I didn't bring to the grocery store......

A couple of years ago someone had a song called "T-shirt and No Panties on" or maybe that was the chorus. I dunno. All I remember about this song was that part: "t-shirt and no panties on". (SIDEBAR: Who the hell made that song?? All this damn disposable music on the airwaves leaving me with kibbles and bits and bits and bits floating around in my musical memory). This song/chorus/whatever came to mind last night as I got dressed to go to the grocery store. Yep I wore a t-shirt and no panties on. But I did wear a skirt so I was covered per se. I hope you didn't think I would really go outside with just a t-shirt???!!!

Now this may not be news or blog-worthy to some, but it is to me. Yes I've left the house forgetting to put panties on before (and I was a teacher at the time....talk about an uncomfortable day....hahahahahahaha). And yes I've gone out with a significant other without the comfort of silk and lace underneath ( a la: "marrrrrrcus dahhhling, I'm not wearing any panties"). But last night, I consciously decided to go commando to do something so mundane and ordinary as going to the grocery store. Had no rhyme or reason to do it, except for the what the hell factor.

And I loved it!!!! I walked the 2 avenues over to the grocery store with a certain sashay in my walk like "Heyyyyy, if you only knew what wasn't under this skirt". The pep in my step was defiant to conventional notions of having to wear undies. The jersey knit of my black flowy skirt felt as soft as a bed of rose petals as it swished across my bare bum. I did get a little nervous when the wind began to pick up in the evening air, especially with my recent Marilyn Monroe experience in Philly. But this skirt was waaay longer and didn't have the kind of volume that would have embarassed me and most likely gotten me arrested. I also thought about that old adage about making sure to wear clean undies and how mortified I would be if I did get into an accident and the paramedics/doctors/all of 7th avenue would discover that there were no undies in sight. But oh well, too late now. (Thank the Lord, I didn't get into an accident)

Now while in the grocery store, I learned rather quickly that some adjustments would have to be made to my normal shopping experience. First of all, there was no way in hell that I was buying anything off the bottom shelf. While the skirt is mid-calf length, I'm not sure how high it rises in the back. And there are cameras everywhere in the grocery store. I couldn't take the chance of Big Brother capturing videos and pics of my big booty. Also, if I dropped something it, I didn't pick it up. Same reason as above. And last but not least, standing in the freezer aisle with the ice cream door open while I try to see if they have my favorite flavor of frozen fruit bars is OUT. Yes, I may have been letting "her" get a breath of fresh air but no reason for "her" to freeze to death. I still need ummm "her".

In writing this, I realize that I may be exhibiting some oh so not like me behaviors lately. First the stroll in the rain, now the commando food shopping excursion. What is going??? I have nooo idea but I'm loving it. Maybe I'm finally stepping out of my cocoon. We'll see.

(Okay it was killing me. I had to google it. Adina Howard - Ms. FREAK LIKE ME circa 1995 - sang that song. And the song was "t-shirt and MY panties on" What the hell was I thinking?? Maybe I was getting my kibbles mixed up with my bits...LOL. By the way googling anything with the word "panties" in it can be an eye opening experience to exactly what's out there on these here internets...hahahahahahaha)