Monday, January 05, 2009

Say what now.....

Okay so I know this is my first *09 post and I wanted it, as my first for the new year, to be all philosophical and shit about my goals and plans and dreams all in my effort to SHINE IN '09!!!! However, when scratch the needle across the record moments occur I have to share them with my friends, fans, stalkers and stans. (SIDEBAR: will stalking go out of fashion in the '09...I'm just sayin'..hahahahaha).

This is a text I received a little while ago:
"So what's up with u? U seeing someone - male or female?"

SCRATCH THE NEEDLE ACROSS THE RECORD. WHAAAAAT?????!!!!

Mini background story is this is from a guy I've known for quite some time. He's a friend of a friend. I ran into him and the mutual friend last week at a party and numbers were exchanged for non-hooking up purposes. When he sent me a "Good Morning" text earlier, I knew I was in trouble because I got a feeling he's interested and I think I'm growing sick of dating (another blog for another day). So being the lady butterfly that I am, I responded in kind. Of course this leads to a discourse about running into each other at the party and how good I looked that night and blah blah blah. As the convo progressed I could tell he would figure out a way to ask me out. However, I was NOT expecting a sexual orientation disclosure via text. Like for real????!!! Is this how it's done in the streets these days???? And furthermore (and even scarier), why would YOU think I (MOI) am interested in chicks beyond wondering where they bought their shoes???? Don't let the natural hair fool you, bro. I am strickly dickly. Penis pleases me. Make that 100% natural, USDA Grade A certified, sent from Heaven above, purely organic flesh and veins beautiful penis. Yeah that's what I like. Strap ons and va-jayjays need not report for duty.

I've been on the dating scene for a minute now but this shit right here?? Yeah this is a first. Of course in this day and age you have to ask because thanks to Jerry Springer, you just never know. But ummm, call me a prude (yeah right) but ummm can we eaaaaase into that conversation and not trip over it right at the gate????

So how do I respond???
I can be super duper sarcastic and say something like "I got the best of both worlds with this tranny I'm with." but its hard to convey sarcasm and wit via text (and besides I have a reputation to uphold and this fool might actually believe me). I can be straight gangsta and say "MOTHER F***A, WHAT YOU ASK ME??? YOU BET NOT ASK ME NO SHIT LIKE THAT AGAIN!!!" but come on, who believes me as gangsta??? Do I get all siddified and respond with "I will not dignify such a crass inappropriate question with a response"? As much as I like to get my siddity on, my refusal may be interpreted as an acknowledgement that yes yes I date both genders. And that is soooooo not gonna work. I have an idea on how I will respond but I'm curious how would you handle it??? Feel free to get ignant. LOL

8 comments:

rashad said...

Veins? Come on I thought this was a family blog. But I would have told that person I was dating Pat.

Miss BB is... said...

I mean, EYE wouldn't be offended by the question b/c I guess you never know the answer unless you ask first.

But you can answer, again, "in kind" or since you don't wanna know him like that, tell him "you date" or don't tell him anything at all. Mattafact, since you don't know him at all, tell him that he doesn't know you well enough to get up in your dating history.

But the question itself wouldn't bother me.

Jazzbrew said...

Well you could hit him with those brilliantly composed sentences about penis. You'd make your point and most like scare him away. LOL

makeba said...

Say what now is right? Come again? My response: loose my number thanks!

keisha said...

I like the Pat comment....funny. Hey all I can say is this-there are a LOT of folks out there creepin and livin on the 'down low' (I just had a terrible experience, will you pen the book for me as an expose'?) I just don't agree with asking you that via text or without you both discussing taking things to 'that' level.

MackDiva said...

Wow. I actually had a guy ask me that. We were face to face at the time, which made it easier to convey my true feelings. In addition, he asked me because he was swinging on both sides of the fence.

To answer your question, I probably would've said, "Uh, why do you ask?"

asha said...

personally, i don't understand the need for any high drama. honestly, i would be impresed by the fact that he has the foresight to ask. there are a lot of women out there on the down-low, who believe that their "experimenting" should not be questioned and is somehow different than if it was a man on the low. and i'm hearing more and more stories from dudes i know that some of the women they're dealing with are more than bi-curious but it's not coming up until AFTER they get serious. granted, maybe it shouldn't have been via text but that's a whole 'nother blog post. if we live our lives textually, should we really be surprised by what we read?

so ok, back to your question, i would just simply answer.

Janelle said...

Rashad: This is a family blog. And that my friend is an anatomy lesson. hahahahahaa

Miss BB: It wasnt that I was offended by the question I was just thrown way off guard primarily because it was after a good morning text (2nd text in), like slow down buddy. lol

Jazzbrew: hmmmm, would it scare him away or make him come after me more??? LOL

Keba: I know I can always count on you to be blunt and straight to the point!!!! LOL

Keisha: hmmm, we have to talk about this expose. But I'm with you I don't think sending via text so early in the getting aquainted convo was the way to go.

MackDiva: I bet anything this encounter happened out there in the land of la-la-loonies. That's hy you need to bring your ass back to the East Coast. hmph! LOL

Asha: In theory yes, I am impressed that he is aware of what's going on out there and in a different setting it would have been appropriate. But literally his text messages went:
1. Good Morning
2. Did you have fun at the party?? blah blah blah
3. U seeing someone - male or female?"

I don;t mind the question but just the manner it was done. And all before my Starbucks. LOL

ALL: In case you're wondering, I responded: "What?! Damn can a sista get some Starbucks before you hit her with the doozies?! LOL I'm dating & for the record MALE ONLY"