Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Pinky, where's your brain???

There's a man who visits my office frequently who I call (in my mind of course) "Pinky". The reason for this name is that this man insists on wearing pink. In October. Every time he comes to the office he has on something pink. And I'm not talking about a pink accented tie or thin pink pinstripes in a shirt. No I'm talking full on pink. Last Friday, for instance, he wore pink pants like this:

and a pink and green plaid shirt like this:

(yes, I realize that's NOT a shirt and is a sneaker but that's the closest I could find to the pattern of the shirt he was wearing. Use your imagination. LOL)

And unfortunately for him, he is not as fine or as svelte as the above pictured Bruce Willis (don't talk about my gets better with age crush on Bruce. LOL). As it appears in the picture, it appears to be a summer month or a warm climate when Bruce is wearing said pink pants. It was 60 degrees on Friday. Furthermore, Bruce manned up the pants with a black shirt. Pinky accented his pants with a freaking pink and green plaid shirt. And this is not Pinky's first frolic in the land of Pink. Today he has on a pink and beige blazer with a pink and navy checked shirt with charcoal grey slacks.

Initially I thought he may be a questionable sexual because of this overzealous love of pink. We were in a meeting one day and he crossed his leg to reveal pink and orange socks. I was mid sentence and lost my train of thought for a second at this bizarre sock revelation. Those shits were briiiiiiiiight.
The questionable sexual thoughts pranced right out the window with talks of his wife, kids, and the few times I've actually caught this old fool checking out my butt - like leaning back in the chair to get a full view of the bootay check. Perv.

I'm beyond baffled where this love of pink comes from in a middle aged white man who probably wipes his ass with $50 bills. I mean its not like he's representing Cameron and Dipset. However with this abundance of pink-tastic shenanigans going on, I wouldn't be surprised if Pinky owns a pink Escalade like these hood rich fools.

I have to know where does this love of pink come from. I gave in to my curiosity today by complementing him.
"Good Morning, (Pinky). Nice shirt." (Sidebar: it really is a nice shirt - if I had a man to shop for I might consider it; the pinktanginess of the blazer is what throws the whole outfit off)
"Oh thank you. My wife picked it out. She picks out all my clothes. I don't have time to shop"

What the hell????!!!! Why in the world would a woman send her man out into the streets looking like a cartoon character??? What could he have possibly done to deserve such fashion cruelty??? Granted, I think he's a grade A asshole but I didn't commit to love honor and blah blah blah for all the days of my life. I mean when you're a couple, don't you want your partner to look good because that is a reflection of you as well???

But at the end of the day, he's a grown ass man. Even if his wife buys all his clothes, can't he man up and say "Muffy, take all that pink shit back to the store before I cut your expense account!"? I'm pretty sure there have to be mirrors somewhere in that upper east side townhouse. Can't he see what he looks like??? Does the thought ever cross his mind, "Is this too ghey?" Or does she have complete control over his mind too??

I must admit. I have to admire her gangsta. For one, she knows no woman is coming within an inch of her man (and his money) because he looks like a ghey game show host walking down the street. Secondly, she must have some serious "lovin'" to play jedi mind tricks on the man convincing him that it is quite all right to wear this much damn pink. However, I'll continue to use my jedi mind tricks for good not evil. And this much pink on a man is the real axis of evil. LOL


rashad said...

Clearly this man is married to a woman who has that snappy nappy, because Pink is like eating in your grandmother's living room. You do it occasionally, but it damn sure ain't habitual

LovinMe4Me said...

And on that note, you have ended my day on a HAAAAAAAA, note. PS, you never know maybe she has a sexual desire to see her man in pink all the time, who knows.

MackDiva said...

In the immortal words of the seminal ghetto poet, Tupac Shakur, "I ain't mad at [her]!" And thanks for helping me get my good giggle on with this post!

Jazzbrew said...

I've been known to rock a pink shirt from time to time but pink pants? Can't do it.

makeba said...

Maybe his wife is really a man with wife title.

£ said...

lol im so mad @ rashad for "snappy nappy"

i don't mind pink on a man - in measured amounts. But what you described sounds like a bucket of "oh heck no!"

Is he wearing the pink in honor of breast cancer awareness month? That might excuse his sartorial missteps.

(also i think bruce willis is hot too. ooh lawd)