Friday, September 12, 2008

I got beef.....

....with the dude who mans the fish counter in Pathmark. Apparently, this is an ongoing feud. So before I reach over and smack the shit outta him with a rainbow trout let me get it out of my system. Now let me explain, I am often in the supermarket. Usually because I'm inspired to cook something that is not in my freezer on the way home from work. With that said, I have no idea when the beef in the fish department started even though I frequent it often. I wasn't aware of this dude's 'tude until one day a couple of weeks ago.

What had happened was.....
I walked over to the fish counter all set to pick up a grouper for dinner. There was one chick ahead of me that fish dude was helping (I now know, according to his name tag, his name is David; that's right full blast, negro. LOL). Now he's helping this chick but also flirting with her as well. His rap made me chuckle because while it was quite lame, it was kinda cute. While I'm listening to this banter and eyeing the 2 groupers that would look yummy on my dinner plate with a spinach and orzo pasta dish I had a taste for (yes, I can cook, damnit! LOL), another lady steps up to the fish counter. David glances over and continues his mackin'. Normally, when a fish dude has wrapped up your seafood, they reach over the ice and the glass partition. But uh, mack daddy fish dude had to walk around the display and hand it to his lady of interest for the moment. Initially, I thought the gesture was sweet until he took a few steps away from the counter to holla at shawty for a minute. Wait make that a few minutes. The other lady and I stood there in disbelief as he abandoned his fish duties to get a number. Now if he was really suave with it, he would have had the digits before he even handed her the ten dollars worth of scrimps she ordered. But apparently suave is not an attribute taught at fish school. So being the sarcastic butterfly that I am, I asked "Ummmm, is the seafood department closed?". Shawty and the older woman standing with me chuckled. David rolled his eyes and kept waving his pen to shawty for her to write her digits. The older woman waiting with me left to find a manager while I stood there, waiting. I receive a phone call where I tell friend on the phone the audacity of hood that is going on around me. David hears my account of the details as he saunters back to his station in life. Dude sucks his teeth with a "Can I help you?". (SIDEBAR: first he rolls his eyes, then he sucks his teeth. Is this dude a questionable sexual????) I turn to him and say, "Wow. Oh thank you for taking the time to help lil ole me. I'll have these two groupers, head off and split. Thanks." Hey I said it with a smile. He did as I asked, handed me my package over the ice and partition, and off I went on my merry way. By the way, dinner was yummy. Gold star for me.

Fast forward this week, I was in Pathmark and picked up a bluefish which I broiled. It was sooo good that I decided to have it for dinner the next night. (No he wasn't at the counter that night. I received my bluefish without incident). The next evening, I stop in Pathmark on my way home from work, ready for my bluefish. I walk over to the counter and look who's there - Fishy David along with another fish dude. I peruse the selection and don't see any bluefish but hmmm, the red snapper looks mighty delish (well it will after I cook it. LOL). "Yeah, can I help you?" "I look up and ask "Do you have anymore bluefish?" "Nah." and with thatfishy dave walks away to resume his convo with the other fish dude. Ummm I wasn't done. So I could have gotten hood with him and started the whole neck roll, hand on hip, screaming at him like he stole something thing but I was still basking in the glow of my new position and wasn't quite ready to come off the high. And as you know, hood ain't me. But I digress. I stand there and wait, making sure the annoyance is painted on my face like the new fall collection of makeup from MAC. The other fish dude, who's back was to me the whole time, turned around and said to fishy dave "yo, did you help her?" he responded with a "yeah she wanted some bluefish and told her we don't have no more". To which other fish dude responded: "well did you think to ask her if she wanted anything else??" Hellllloooooo, what kinda shady customer service is fishy dave operating on?
"Ma'am what can I get for you?" the other fish dude inquired as he brushed past fishy dave. I asked him again about the bluefish because "someone else seems too preoccupied with his conversation to give me a full answer." Take that fishy dave.
"No, we ran out earlier."
"Dang, okay I'll have the red snapper, head off and split, please."
"Sure, no problem."

Fishy dave had the nerve to turn around and ice grill me. And I gave him the "what the fuck is your problem?" look of disgust. His refusal to help me, his ice grilling me, his overall rude behavior made me wonder what the hell I did to deserve this "fishy" attitude? I'm a lover not a fighter. I don't want no beef. Only fish.


rashad said...

excuse my french, but dude is a bitch.

Miss. Lady said...

I agree with Rashad, b*tch made negro.

Plus he just mad because you embaraased him in front of the shawty.

Eve said...


Miss BB is... said...

Sad day when we have to agree with Diddy that this disease is running rampant!

BTW, are you going to share what your new position is any time soon??

Chubbs said...

well, he does work with fish all day--maybe the odors have affected his brain. Dare I say, his sole purpose for working there is to pick up on fish-lovin women?!?

btw, I'm coming over for dinner...yum!

Janelle said...

Rashad: your french is excused given the circumstances

miss.lady: Welcome ;) He still got shawty's number so there was no need to be salty with me. He's just a sucka! hahahahaa

Eve: am I going to have to remind him of the Diddy mandate the next time I go to the fish counter??? Is Wayne Brady gonna have to smack a bitch?? hahahahahahahahahaa

Miss bb: Now you know if I have to quote Diddy instead of well anyone else, its a problem. hahahaha
Not quite sure yet if I'm going to share the details of the new position quite yet. Damn stalkers! When I see you, I'll tell you all about it.

Chubbs: I used to go down to the fulton st fish market (when it was there). those dudes were around fish since birth and they were all pleasant. Gruff but pleasant. Dare I agree with your theory on his sole purpose thus leading to his high level of crabiness because he is failing miserably?!? hahahahaa
btw, when I move you bring the coffee and some sweet pastries from the LES. ;)

£ex said...

haha great story! fishy dave was out of line and running amuck for two reasons:

1. holding up the line because he was trynna get some digits
2. the digits weren't yours! i mean he couldn't see that u were doper??(not that u wanted him but still.)

anywayz like chubbs said i'll be over for dinner, i'll even bring my own fork and knife!

bourgieadventures said...

I'm wondering about the kind of chick that takes that dude's phone number. Not just because he's "fishy Dave". I'm not gonna knock a brother for having a job.
But um, I personally do not like to be hollered at @ the grocery store. And, um, I bet he smelled like fish with fishy hands. Finally, noticing that he was holding up the line trying to talk to me, I would have just excused myself.

I'm thinking fish for tomorrow!