Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Is it is or is it ain't????.....

What makes a date??? What's the difference in "hanging out" "and a "date"? This all important, life changing dilemma has been plaguing me all weekend. And I'm no closer to the answer thanks to my friends.

I hung out with a friend this weekend. My Guy Guru and my girl E. seem to think it was a date. They wouldn't think it was a date if I was hanging with one of my girls. So why did the rules change because my dinner companion didn't have lip gloss and breast??? According to my Guy Guru I would be swinging from chandeliers by the end of the night and "giving it up". The day of my outing, E. called and asked what I was going to wear on my "date". I reminded her that it wasn't a date and that I would probably wear jeans, a cute top, and heels. This look tends to be my uniform so no big deal there. She asked if I was nervous. I told her "hell no" with a well placed side eye to my phone that I only wished she could see. This was just a dinner with an old friend, right???

Don't get me wrong. I had a great time with my friend. We had great convo at the restaurant, damn near shutting the place down. After dinner, we made our way to a dark cavernous lounge where old school hits (and misses) were the perfect soundtrack to our incessant laughter at the dancing machines (more like dancing fools) in the place. As a perfect gentlemen should, he made sure I got home safely at the end of the night. That's it. No swinging from chandeliers. No giving it up. No nervous energy. Just a fun filled evening. If time and space ever permit, we plan to hang out again. So was this a date??? Hell if I know. All I know is I hung out with a friend and had a great time doing so. And if your barometer is the all consuming question of who paid, the answer is the only time I came out of pocket was for the taxi downtown to meet him since I was running a little late (surprise surprise! hahahahahaha). So is this a date because he paid for dinner and drinks?? What if I offered??? Is a date because it was only he and I in attendance?? What if our mutual friends lives hundreds of miles away and neither one of us brought a chaperone??? Is it a date because we both are single??? Can't two single people hang out??? If we go out again, is that a date???

I'm confused. I was perfectly fine in my bubble of belief until my friends popped it. Now, I don't know what this was. Thanks, my friends. Mannnn, fuck it I don't care what you call it (as you can probably guess, I just came to this revelation as I was typing...hahahahahahaaa). I had fun and I'll do it again. And you can call it whatever the hell you want. hahahaha


makeba said...

So you ask what is a date? Well according to the good ole dictionary, a date is a social engagement between persons that often have a romantic character. So did this outing have a romantic character? And what the hell is a romantic character anyway? Is it the ambiance, the mood, the butterflies in your stomach. Been out the game so long I am just as confused as you are! LOL..

Girl stop playing it was a date, a date is a date is a date even with the old time friend from way back when. LMAO

rashad said...

Man please. I am your friend, and you know good and well if you inserted me in the place of your friend, things would go differently, and you damn sure wouldn't write about it.

AroundHarlem.com said...

If you're single and he's single - AND - you're attracted to him it was a date. :-)

swandad said...

I love the look of your blog; was wondering where did you get your design from.

As for the date thing.... at the end of the day, if you peel back all of the layers, it sounds like it was a date.

Chubbs said...

I'd say, if there were expectations for romance or a relationship from either or both of you, it was a date. Even if he was feeling you, but you weren't feeling him...it's still a date b/c of the romantic expectation.

Paying for meal and drinks, or the fact that it was just the two of you, and you're both single--DOES NOT make it a date.

Funny--I have girlfriends who have teased me about the same thing. They'll have me married off before I go on the 2nd date. lol.

Eve said...

Sounds like a date to me! STOP FRONTIN'!!!!!!!!!
A date to me is defined by intent. Did he want to kiss you? Did you want to kiss him? Was there a weird (not platonic) undercurrent?
If so, it was a date.

Virtuous Blue said...

Ya know what? That seems to be a debate that I run into often. To me, if i'm going out with a guy who is attracted to me, or vice versa...it's a date.

But to be honest, I think it's quite possible to go out on a "date" without any romantic expectations or involvement. Even when me in my girls go out, we call it a date. And i've had strictly platonic guy friends offer to take me somewhere or pay for something. For some, it can really just be two people enjoying each other's company. I really think it's up to the individuals to define what it is.