Buy me some...what?? No martinis?

As I mentioned in my previous blog, I attended my first professional baseball game at the famous soon to be a pile of barney rubble Shea Stadium (pictured above). I had no idea what to expect but I was super duper excited, kid in a candy store sugar rush kind of excited. While I can't say I intently watched each and every play in each inning until we left (Sidebar: why is it so damn chilly in May like leather jacket, cashmere sweater, pashmina chilly??? Is this the price I have to pay for the mild winter of 07-08??), I can say that this Butterfly thoroughly enjoyed myself. Here's a guide for other girly girl baseball rookies.

1. Who cares??? Apparently, the ticket guy doesn't give a shit if this is your first game or your millionth game. Show your ticket and keep it moving. LOL (that one is pretty self explanatory..hahahahaa)



2. There are no stilettos in baseball. My girl, DeeDee warned me to wear flats or sneakers. Now those that know me know sneakers are not a staple in my fashion repertoire so ballet flats were the shoe du jour. And I am sooo grateful I listened. All that hiking just to get to our gate and then the hike up 2 levels just to get provisions would have made stilettos unbearable and left me crying in baseball.



3. "When in Rome......" You've seen my "I hate beer" face. With Bud or Bud Light being my only options (I don't drink soda), what's a girl to do?? What else could I do. I drank a beer. Bud Light to be exact. And I drank the entire bottle with only a few cringes. Thankfully, the food gods (and the old man working the concession stand) love me because I was able to eat a cheeseburger and not a gross stinky hot dog. And forget that peanuts and cracker jack crap; I had gummy bears and almond M&M's in my purse.

(yes that's me drinking a beer. had to capture the moment.)

4. Are you talking to me??? Something about the air of sportsmanship makes totally perfect never would talk to me otherwise complete strangers strike up conversation. Back in my seat as I was preparing my cheeseburger with the requisite 2.5 ketchup packs, a guy comes up to me and asks me "ummmm where did you get that from?" I looked up to see a Matt Lauer looking straight laced white man peering at my burger. I told him where he could find one and he too was not a fan of the trek it would take to actually get one. He asked if it was worth it. I took a bite just for him (well for him and the hunger pains duking it out in my stomach) and informed him that yes it was worth it. So maybe its not the sportsmanship that's the common bond. Regardless of race, creed or color, we all get hungry.

(okay, Lil Sis informed me that the best way to eat a cheeseburger is to put your fries on the burger. Her rationale is "it's all going to the same place". So since this is a night of firsts, I gave it a try. My inner chubby girl was pleasantly pleased)


5. Heads up is a way of life. Okay when you hear that ball to bat crack and everyone around you starts standing up or looking up, you better pay attention and scan the sky for that tumbling white object. Sitting as close as we were, I was in constant fear of being hit by a ball going faster than the speed limit on the highway. Oh the horror!!! But then I thought maybe this could be my Sex and the City moment when Carrie caught the ball and dated the "new Yankee". I don't know who's a new Met or not but judging from some of their pics on the ginormous screen, I wouldn't mind getting their balls.
(Lil Sis, Me, and DeeDee. And yes, we sat that close to the outfield. And yes, I was paranoid that we were going to get hit while taking this picture)


6. Control yo kids, damn it. Okay, I usually feel this way in the supermarket and department stores when people let their kids run around like I'm the idiot for shopping in the middle of their children's playgrounds. But there were kids running around all over the damn place. Why are you spending 30 bucks and up for your kids to completely ignore the game and organize a game of tag in the aisle and up and down the stands??? They can do that somewhere else for free, you know. I almost lost it when 2 kids bumped me as I carried my 5 dollar fries, my 9 dollar burger and my 8 dollar beer. After my cross country hike to the concession stand for my reeeeeediculously overpriced dinner, I would have beat a kid down for knocking me and my meal to the ground.



(DeeDee, Me, Mr. Met, & Lil Sis. Oh and the cutie who was Mr. Met's handler. Damn, a dude with a big ass ball on his head has a "handler". Where can I get one of those??)

Special Shout out to DeeDee and Lil Sis for not only accompanying me to my first pro baseball game but for also bringing their cameras to capture the moments (you may want to start a bail fund for me because BestBuy is STILL holding my camera hostage. If I don't get it back in time for my trip, somebody call Johnny Cochran. Oh wait, he's dead. Okay, call Star Jones. She's looking for work, right? )