Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Okay so for the past couple of days, I've been doing just as 50 instructed and partying like its my birfhday since it was in fact my birthday. Some things I wish I had the time to blog in detail, other things I would much rather forget. All in all, I've had some "wonderings" wandering around my head. And since this is my refuge, I decided to share.

*Ummmm, since when did being the wife of the President give you 'the experience' to run the country??? I was once the girlfriend of a cop. Does that mean I have 'the experience' to shoot someone?? I'm just sayin'.......

*Is it ever okay for an old southern white man to use the word nigger in your presence?? What if said white man just picked up your $300 bar tab as a kind birthday gesture prior to using the slur? Would it have been better if he said "colored"?

*What exactly does a hangover feel like?? I think I had one on Sunday but since I've never had a hangover I'm not too sure.

*Why do women reach their sexual peak in their 30s?? Is it because morals and obligations would prevent us from acting on our inner slut's impulses?? And why didn't anyone prepare me for this revelation??? I feel like Nia Long in "The Best Man". "I'M HORNY. MY HORMONES ARE RAGING. I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT NO GOTDAMN PEAS." (and no this is NOT a solicitation; it's just a thought, damnit...hahahahaha)

*What is it about red pumps that drive men nuts? Really. Is it a repressed Dorothy from The Wizard of OZ (The Wiz for black folks) fetish?? Ladies, test my theory. Wear something you've worn countless times without a second look from anyone but this time throw on some red stilettos/pumps and see the reaction you get.

*Can you ever really tell family members "you make me sick. Leave me alone. Lose my number."? (Even if I can't, it just felt DAMN good typing that...hahahahahahah)

*How old is too old for a man to: a)ask for a threesome, b)refer to the mother(s) of his children as his "baby momma(s)" c) wear Timberlands as shoes to every event???

*How old is too old for a woman to: a)shop at Forever 21, b) post pictures of her ass on MySpace (or as I like to call it Crackspace but I thought there would be some pun intended with that moniker..hahahahah), c)carry anything Hello Kitty???

I'm going to HU Alumni Mixer tonight. And by HU, I mean Hampton University. We may not be the first HU but we are indeed the better of the 2. But I digress. It should be interesting (and by interesting, I mean blog-worthy..hahahahaha). I haven't participated in anything Hampton related in quite some time. Lets see who remembers me or who I remember. I wonder how many times I will hear: "You're not married? No kids??? Damn, I thought someone would have scooped you up by now." While I get the underlying flattery in that comment, it makes me seem like the fat kid no one wants on their team for dodgeball. Like I have some sort of defect because I'm not rocking the 2 carat princess cut on the left hand and showing pics of the kids in soccer uniforms in the right. This is after all my birthday week, so hopefully the birthday Gods and Goddesses will cut me some slack and keep the wine coming. hahahahahahaha


rashad said...

In the words of my man Kareem Abdul Jabbar: "I've been amused to see how Mr. Obama's critics have tried to pull him down by criticizing his "lack of foreign relations experience." I'm not aware that either Hillary Clinton or John McCain has any huge advantage in the awareness necessary to deal with the foreign relations aspect of the presidency. Only people with a Cabinet or State Department background can immediately state their readiness in that area. Mr. Obama has the intelligence and leadership qualities that will serve him well should he win the nomination and election."

oh and i don't know why you all's sexual peak comes so late, but i'm eating all that shit up..literally and figuratively

makeba said...

First, get out of my head because I am planning the same trick with the red pumps thing this weekend, provided it doesn't rain or snow. Secondly, I hate to say it but I LOVE HELLO KITTY, even at my age. C'mon everyone should have some kid in them that remains, it keeps you feeling young. Third, you gots to give me the low down on the Alumni mixer that I was suppose to attend with you.

Anonymous said...

I think that being a wife of a former president does give her a slight advantage. She understands the game to some degree, and she has been there for two terms now. So in some ways it truly does give her a bit of an edge.