Wednesday, May 02, 2007

One of my girlfriends, Tania, gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby boy about 2 weeks ago. It made me think back to when I first met Tania - at a club. She worked with my best friend, and I met them at some after work spot right by the bar. I remember she made me try a drink called a Purple Motherfucker. One sip and she became my new best friend. When I started working for the same company (for future reference, let's just call it "HELL") a few weeks later, I could always go to Tania's desk to know where I should go that night, or any night of the week. She was my party guru. Our friendship grew, along with a select group of other women, out of camaraderie. We all were intelligent, recent college graduates(stressing the intelligent part, a rarity at company HELL), and were working in HELL. Long before Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte made life in New York glamorous, we painted the town brick red (red with a hint of brown in Sipping cocktails over talk of men, parties, relationships, work, men, family, men, future dreams, and MEN was ever flowing just like the cocktails. One by one, we left HELL, for different opportunities, but our friendship remained in tact, and in fact grew stronger. Yeah, we had to make more of an effort to see each other. We could no longer walk over to each other desks to catch up during a break, or fool our supervisors into all of us taking lunch at the same time. I spent the better part of my 20s with Tania and these women, enjoying life, and it seemed as if the party would never end. But then the 30s hit. And like a walk through the looking glass, we've somehow become adults, making adult decisions. Friends have moved out of town, gotten married, are having babies, climbing the corporate ladder.

The birth of Tania's son (did I mention that he is beautiful) has me thinking a lot about my own journey in this life and apparently has my mother thinking about it as well. For those that know my mother, she is the quietest person I know. Whenever anyone in our crazy family has previously asked when I am going to settle down, she would pipe up and say, "Leave Janelle alone. She will when she's ready." My mother has always instinctively known that I march to the beat of my own drummer, that I have to do things in my own unique way. I guess that way of thinking went out the window when after telling her about Tania's baby, she asked me "Soooo, ummm do you think you'll ever have kids??" I kind of stammered out a half ass, "ummmm, I don't know. Maybe???" I wanted to ask her, "Ma, where is this coming from??" This was the first time ever she has ever asked that of me. I believe she is worried about me. As my friends around me settle into "adulthood", I think she thinks that I am missing out on something. I wonder if I should tell her about my back up baby daddy? Yes, you read that correctly. I have a back up baby daddy. I made a deal with a friend of mine (who shall remain nameless) that in the event that if by a certain predetermined age (which shall remain under wraps) and I am not in a serious relationship with a man I want to have a baby with, then he and I will have a child together. See?? Simple. No pressure, no worries. I chose a man I have a great friendship with, intelligent, attractive (my aunt once told me to look at a guy's pictures of his family before having a baby with him. She said this after a cousin had a not too cute child with his wife...LOL), and by all accounts is a great dad to the child he already has. Maybe that's why I'm not so pressed about having a baby. I think every woman needs a back up baby daddy. a break in case of emergency sperm bank if you will. You will find that once you've secured that Plan B, you don't look at every guy you meet as a potential husband/father of your children. You can date without pressure. The biological clock may be ticking but mine is on vibrate at the bottom of my gi-normous bag as I walk down the nosy street called life - can't hear a damn thing. At least not yet. So don't worry, Ma, I got a plan!!! And while my plan may be flawed, it works for me, and I'm not asking any guy I date about his sperm count and family medical history. So for now, I am content to spoil Tania's son (ADORABLE) and all my other friends' children (yeah they are cute too), until the time is right for me to give up the Purple Motherfuckers for purple dinosaurs, and trade in my stilettos for stinky diapers.

1 comment:

rashad said...

excellent entry. i liked the symmetry of it. I was the back babydaddy for a few friends and the i was told my services were no longer sad.

by the way, when i read that entry i heard sarah jessica parker's voice all in my head