Tuesday, May 08, 2007

In the movie, "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka", Jack Spade questions John Slade about the band following them down the street. Slade replies, "Oh, that's my theme music. Every good hero should have some." While it would be highly impractical for me to walk the streets of New York City with a band playing my theme music every step of the way, I do believe that every woman should have some theme music, playing in her ear. (SIDEBAR: if anyone out there could actually7 make that happen and get a band for me, even just for one day, one hour even, please get The ROOTS. How hot would that be?? LOL)

On my IPOD I created a playlist entitled, "STRUT". That's right STRUT. It's my walking music. Walking to the train station, walking to the store, walking to meet some friends, walking to the gym, any walking that I do. However, instead of walking, I now strut to the tunes in my ear. AND yes, there is a difference between a walk and a strut. A walk is left, right, left, right, stop when necessary. It serves it purpose; it gets you where you have to go. It's blah, has no presence, no standing out in the crowd. Now a strut??? Honey, let me tell you. A strut is more left, bounce, right, bounce, left, jiggle, right, jiggle, and stop with a swish in the hips. A strut is the walk you do when you know that fine ass brother is watching you walk away. You want him to stand there and watch until he can't see you anymore, captivated by your strut.

My STRUT list consists of music that no matter what the day holds for me, I feel like a hot seductress, taming the jungles of New York. No matter the outfit or the footwear, there is an extra swish in my hips, a little jiggle in the booty (SIDEBAR: this is intentional jiggle. Not the "I ate a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts last night after dinner and it went straight to my ass" jiggle. There IS a difference. LOL). With this playlist, I walk with my head high, smirk on my face (like don't you wish you knew what was making me smile?? LOL), shoulders high, and pep in my step, always in beat to the music. Ms. Jay, Tyra, and the contestants on America's Next Top Model ain't got nothing on me. I feel confident, sexy, carefree, even when reality doesn't always allow me to feel that way. It's a mood booster. It's my drug of choice as I walk the runway of the city. And yes, I'm addicted. No rehab, please.

So you may ask, how did I come up with my STRUT playlist. As with everything, there are rules, my friend, commandments if you will. They are as follows:

1. Songs must be songs that have a good beat. It could be mid tempo or more upbeat but the beat must be something you can strut to.
2. No depressing songs. You want a song that will make you sashay across the street not slash your wrists.
3. Song must be a song you have danced in the house to. Matter of fact, if the song has a video, you must have danced along with the video at least once.
4. Song must be a song that you would play while getting ready to go out. I mean go OUT: party, club, hot date, whatever. Something that gets you in the mood for the rest of the night.
5. Songs must connect to you somehow. When I hear every song on my STRUT playlist, I must feel all the qualities I feel that go along with a good strut. They make me smile.
6. Playlist must be personal to you. Whatever gives you that swagger, that strut, whether its the Dixie Chicks or DMX.
7. Songs can be changed at will. Replace your songs with old or new strut songs. Playlist should be fresh, never feeling old and boring. Nothing old and boring lends itself to a good strut.

There is a downside to having my theme music playing in my ear. I want to sing out and dance right in the middle of the street or on the train, like I'm begging for change. While I may listen to Beyonce (my alter ego by the way..LOL), I probably sound more like Bea Arthur. So singing out in the middle of the street may get me beat up, arrested, institutionalized, or most likely, all of the above. I think there should be a car on the train for those who want to sing along to their IPODS. This would allow us to belt out the favorite part of the song or the whole damn song if you want to without the stares from the other passengers. Hey, it's an idea. Who's ready to sign the petition to the MTA?? LOL

This blog wouldn't be complete with out a great STRUT song. Ladies, get to STRUTTIN' and fellas, watch out for the bounce, jiggle, swish; you will be mesmerized.


rashad said...

This shit is hilarious. I'm going to need a youtube(from the back) of this strut. and by the way, i read all of the commandments to the tune of Biggie. I wouldn't have a band though for my strut theme though, I'd have Dennis Haysbert narrating my every move.

Anonymous said...

Ok, you have inspired me to start my own Strut Playlist twin! But it's hard to strut in NC, there are no sidewalks... hmmm, would it be ok to strut down the aisles of Walmart...lol Great blog (you will be published one day!!!)