Tuesday, April 22, 2008

An Open Letter

Dear Friends,

It was recently brought to my attention that I tend to come off as self-absorbed, especially in conversation. Because the bearer of this revelation is someone that I love and cherish, I actually listened to what she had to say. As my real friends, you are probably already aware that I have the gift of gab. But that gift was never meant to isolate and feel as if I don't care. My "it's soo funny because....." is meant to bring us closer, share a common moment, maybe help you to learn from my mistakes. But apparently it comes across as "unintentionally self-centered". Ouch!

As my friends, I cherish you as the beautiful gems you are. You inspire me to reach for whatever greatness I am destined for in this life. But apparently I'm not doing the same for you. And that hurts. I could explain my behavior away as some only child syndrome or a measure of my insecurities spilling over or my attempt to overcompensate for whatever is lacking in my life. But I'm not interested in excuses, just change.

I know I'm not perfect. None of us are. Hopefully, through all of my overeager sharing you know that all I wanted to do was share. But I want to be a better friend. Someone who listens to you without interruption. Someone who demonstrates that she's "into you". Someone who cares enough to shut the fuck up. So I'm on a mission to change the way I am a friend to you.
Yes, I will stumble and fail occasionally, but it's not my heart's intention when it comes to you and our friendship. So from now on, as I used to tell my kindergarten students - my listening ears are on. I'm ready to not only hear you, but to listen to what you're saying and not saying.

Most importantly, thanks for loving me flaws and all. I would be nothing without you, my beautiful gems.

Love Always,
The Resident Butterfly


rashad said...

Friends are like basketball teams, everyone has their role. i have friends who co-sign everything i say, friends who challenge me, friends who barely talk(the best kind) and friends who talk about themselves and their lives(that's you), and that's what makes life interesting. and if you were to change, then it would suck.

Janelle said...

But that's not the kind of friend I want to be. I want to play a different position, mannnn.

Miko said...

I agree with Rashad. Please be who you are. True friendship will always involve a giver and a taker. Don't get me wrong -- we ALL have room for improvement in the friend department -- but know that it's fair exchange in a robbery, par for the course, if you will. And besides, we all need distractions from our own lives every now and then. :)