Many of you, like me, most likely have a Crackspace page. Crackspace has provided opportunities to reconnect with old classmates from high school and college. I've even connected with relatives I either never knew existed or barely remember from my youth. Crackspace has also been a deliverer of some very unkind, mean spirited diatribes spewing the hate of me to me. But even in the face of that fooly wag nonsense, Crackspace has been fun.

Over the past 24 hours I received 2 of the strangest messages EVER on Crackspace. Yeah sure I get the occasional, "hey there pretty lady. can we chat sometime?" Who doesn't??? But this shit right here?!!! Well take a look for yourself.
Message 1:

hello mighty superior Black Woman,may i please be your slave?im very obediant
and know my proper place on this earth is kneeling at your feet.i would love to
worship your feet,bow at your feet,you can even put me on a leash like a good
doggy mistress,i can do your pedicures as well

Yes that is the exact, unedited, verbatim message I received. I wish I could copy the profile picture that accompanied the message. It was a picture of feet! Yessss, FEET!!! Noooo, I am not making this up. Even my over active imagination hasn't reached that far into the bag of tricks called crazy. I laughed until I had tears in my eyes. "Doggy mistress"? Really?? This is just a prime example of the depth of the insanity in the world. Lets pause for a moment of prayer for the clearly lost individual who sent this to me - a stranger. Well I hope I'm a stranger to this person. hahahahhahaaa
Oh, and by the way, HELLL TO DA NAW is my response to those who are wondering if I responded. While I could use someone to run my errands, screen my calls, cancel appointments, etc. something about the whole "slave" idea doesn't sit right with me. Not to mention the whole sitting at my feet notion. Nor the free pedicures. I mean, are you even licensed to do pedicures????

The second message was insane, disgusting, and slightly flattering. It was an offer to work in the adult entertainment industry. Initially I was insulted and disgusted. Like: "How dare you assume that I, a college educated, self-respecting, high self-esteem having (on most days) woman would want to degrade myself and enter in to the world of the adult entertainment industry?" But after I came down off my high stallion, there was a tiny, miniscule part of me that was flattered. Like: "Oooh thank you for recognizing that I am a hot, sexy, seductive, titillating (this word makes me laugh) sex siren. And you got all of that from my profile pic??!" We all have a little porn star in us. Some more on the outside than others but I digress. I just won't be putting my inner porn star on blast. My inner porn star is for private exclusive viewing ONLY and not Pay-per-view. I deleted the email immediately. I won't be doing anything "strange for change". But thanks for the ego boost and the laughs, Crackspace.