Monday, November 06, 2006

I caught a friend in a lie. It wasn't like I was searching for the lie; it just appeared. Really it did. I didn't even know I was being lied to until the truth fell at my feet. (Literally, a piece of paper fell off his suitcase, I picked it up and there it was - staring back at me - the truth)! So what did I do?? Well at first, I thought I was mistaken. So I asked my friend a question based on the truth he fed me. And yes, he dished out another serving of this lie. I wish I had called him out on the spot. Something like "Are you fucking kidding me? You just lied to my face!" (Maybe a little hand on hip, neck rolling action for dramatic effect. Nah that's not me!) But I didn't. I let it go for the moment. Maybe it was shock. A part of me couldn't believe that my friend was lying to me. It's not like there was a reason for him to lie to me. I can't understand what he has to gain. Yes he's a guy but we are FRIENDS! Not the "just friends" who meet each other's significant others and then meet at his place later for some carnal fringe benefit of their friendship. He's my buddy, my friend. He's that guy I go to when I need to bitch about my girlfriends or when I need to figure out another man's motives. He's the one whose brain I pick for the male point of view. I have come to trust and appreciate him for who he is and what his friendship has contributed to my life. In that sense it hurts so much more that he lied to me or should I say continues to lie to me. I spoke to him about something unrelated and he switches topics back to his lie and adds yet another layer to the lie. So now I'm being fed heapfuls of bullshit. It's like that last spoon of oatmeal your mom used to force you to eat before you left the house for school. You know that big spoonful where she has scraped the sides of the bowl, making sure you get every last bit, every single oat from your bowl into your mouth? So as I try to swallow this bullshit, I just say "oh that's nice"! A part of me feels like an idiot for allowing an opportunity to say something pass me by but over the phone is not the ideal place to confront someone. I would much rather confront him face to face. Not only to see his reaction but also for him to see mine.
I have no idea what I am going to do. I could confront him the next time I see him. I could wait for a minute, sit back and see how long he's going to continue the lie. Either way I have nothing to gain because in the end I have lost a friendship, maybe not completely but the freedom of trust in our friendship is gone. Time of death? The minute that paper hit the floor at my feet.

1 comment:

rashad said...

So even once you confront this friend on his lie, and offers up a bit of an explanation, you still feel like the friendship is over? You wouldn't forgive him?