Wednesday, November 29, 2006


Ex of Nas: Three was rapper's big delightNas (above) and wife Kelis are targets
of a book by his ex, who claims he wanted to have a threesome with both
women.Hell hath no fury like a baby mama scorned.Nas's ex is raking her acrylics
over the rapper and his wife, Kelis, in a new tell-all book, "It's No
Secret."Carmen Bryan says he beat her, cheated on her, cut her child support,
and then invited her for a threesome with the "Milkshake" singer, just before
they married.And you think your boyfriend has lousy foreplay.Not that the
self-described "hip-hop Helen of Troy" stayed home watching Oprah when her man
was away. She found time to entertain Jay-Z and Allen Iverson while dating
Nas.She claims he beat her "with a closed fist" after finding out about one
fling. In turn, she "pulled out my pepper spray from my back pocket and sprayed
Nas down like he was some rabid pit bull," when he cheated.Miz Bryan also claims
Kelis doesn't wear deodorant, Jay-Z scrubs his butt in the shower (doesn't
everyone?), and Nas once turned down a date with Beyonce because, he said, "to
be honest, I can't take her breath."Sure.
Where do I begin? Where do I begin?? While I am not a baby mamma, and therefore have no idea about the emotional attachments between a baby momma and a baby daddy, let me be clear: This shit is ridiculous! I know Superhead was your inspiration, but why would you sit your ass down to write a book about the father of your child??? Superhead wrote about guys where the only ties that bind are the sexual kinky kind. But this is the father of your child. You still have to deal with this person on some level for the sake of your child. How do you attend your child's recital sitting next to this person and his new wife after you've told anyone with 24.95 to waste how he likes to get down in the bedroom? Children have enough problems fitting in at school. I'm pretty sure you're child goes to an elitist, college preparatory school, where her classmates come from old money. Trust and believe your fellow members of the Parents Association already look at you as a hood rat. And guess what? You've just confirmed what they have thought about you from the moment you enrolled your daughter at their esteemed institution. So how do you think your daughter feels when her classmates start calling her mother a slut?? I mean you have put it out there that you slept with all these celebrities while you were in a relationship with someone. So isn't that what a slut does? What about when the prep school boys think she can be the same kind of sexual acrobat as mommy? Does she think slutitude is inherent, some genetic mutation that she is now destined to act upon?

No one and I truly mean NO ONE wants to know about their parent's sexual escapades. Just the thought of my parents doing the mattress mambo (or wherever they did IT) makes me want to vomit. But at least I never have to worry about a friend picking up a book and reading exactly how they got down. Can you imagine someone asking your parents, "so according to page 128, you like cucumbers in every orifice; is that still true? Or have you found another enticing vegetable to use?"

While your relationship may have been volatile, it was, until now, personal. It was only between the parties involved. Well, and anyone who purchased a Jay-Z album, but still that was considered an exaggeration more that a cold hard fact. You have now opened up your daughter's life to intense scrutiny. Nothing that she asked for. "It's No Secret" that, unfortunately, this book will make you a shitload of money. I hope its worth your daughter's future.

(SIDEBAR: why is it newsworthy that Jay-Z scrubs his butt in the shower?? I mean, is he doing it with a Brillo pad?? What???? )

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i have purposely avoided this bullshit, because it is ridiculous. the things that went on between nas and his baby mother have gone on in relationships since who knows when. but only recently have folks thought to profit off of it, and its sickening..much like the OJ book. and you're right, the kids will suffer and get clowned as a result, and it just isn't fair. I'm not freeing Nas from any wrongdoing, but damn Carmen, strip harder or something. don't out your ex for cash..