Sunday, February 07, 2010

Q 4 a B-Fly "Drifting on a Memory"

Q: How many times a day do you think of that "special" someone? ~ Anonymous

A: Dear Anonymous,
Please don't be offended, but when I read this question I had to laugh out loud - FOR REAL. No LOL inside my head laugh but a real true hardy -har. I laughed because currently there is no "special" someone in my life. Well except for me. I've been single for a while. But don't cry for me, Argentina. I date.

However, I must admit that the guys I date cross my mind throughout the day. Something usually triggers a memory - someone will say something that alludes to an inside joke, a taste from a meal, a song we danced to playing on Pandora, a whiff of a cologne my olfactory has been acquainted with. Anything my cerebrum has attached to thoughts of that person. I'll smile and keep it moving. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I was that chick who wonders endlessly "Is he thinking of me?" "Oh, I wonder what he's doing right now." I was once in a relationship with a guy who was concerned because I didn't call him during the day at work. When I responded, "Ummm because you're at work and I'm at work?!" He seemed to be offended that I wasn't thinking of him during the day enough to reach out and call. I was teaching at the time. My focus was the 600 kids I was responsible for - not the big baby sitting in a downtown office. Clearly, this relationship didn't last long. Is that harsh??

But memories have a funny way of seeping into your everyday. Just because the men I date have yet to earn the "special" someone title, it doesn't mean that random thoughts of them don't evoke a smile, or a warm fuzzy fleeting feeling. But that's only if there in my good graces. If we're at a place without conflict. Otherwise, any memory, no matter how endearing, how touching, how funny will get the quintessential "side eye". I can't give in to those warm fuzzies if conflict is in the air. Is that harsh??

Now, to answer your question. If I classify myself as that "special someone", well damn, I think about me all the time, so much so I can't even count how many times daily. I wonder what the future holds for "us". I plan "our" next step. I ponder ways to make "us" happy. And if I'm going to be truthful, sometimes, not often, just sometimes, I wonder who that other "special" someone will be. I wonder what it will feel like to be with him. And wonder if maybe I will pick up the phone occasionally during the day, just to say "Hi. I was thinking of you."

Sincerely,


PS After laughing, the first line of this song popped into my mind. So I had to listen to it. And then I had to share.


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The questions are great. Keep them coming. Post your questions in the box to your right or go directly to http://www.formspring.me/ButterflyRefuge

4 comments:

rashad said...

The follow up question? How many times has the thought of someone special turned into a drunk call/text?

Chubbs said...

I love that you responded that the "special person" is you. Any ideas who might have sent you that question? Maybe just maybe it was someone who wanted to be considered your other "special person."

p.s. I agree with you on the calling a person at work tidbit. Calling is so 1998--I'll take a text or two though :-)

Janelle said...

Rashad: If you want me to answer that put it in the box (that's what she said...hahahahaha)

Chubbs: Aww thanks! I have no clue who asked that question since they asked anonymously. I would hope, though, that if it is in fact someone willing to put in an application I would hope they would just man up and ask and not take the passive aggressive approach. LOL

We are >here< on the calling at work. Send a text. It takes less time. It doesn't completely disrupt someone's day. And you can respond when you have a minute. :)

£ said...

im with you and chubbs. I love the "thinking of you" text(s). More convenient, and private. I'm not against phone calls though... the random ones that are short and sweet. They never fail to make me smile. I'm mushy like that though.

Love the Question 4 a butterfly segment!