Thursday, March 26, 2009

Release

I wept. Openly on the 14th St. platform. I wept. In front of complete strangers. I wept. Maybe my tears ducts were in sync with the clouds above ground creating puddles on the sidewalks. Whatever the case I wept. Maybe the fears and emotions I've been holding back for a while were testing the levees I've built behind my eyes. Or the unvoiced concerns lodged in my larynx were attempting to break free. In spite of or because of, I wept. I read a passage recently about being open to crying because tears are purifying and cleansing, a release. A necessary release. Well right in my seat on the platform, I let the tears fall like raindrops from up above. I didn't release all. But just enough . I think they call it a passing rain. As I heard my train rumble down in the tunnel I wiped away those last few drops that hadn't made it down to the folds of my scarf, gathered my bags, and smiled. Right there on the 14th street platform. I smiled. In front of complete strangers. I smiled. And continued on my journey.

(Butterfly note: I composed this all on my beloved phone. I'm so happy she's back. Well at least a newer, improved while not the model I dream of version of herself..hahahhaa)

6 comments:

Chubbs said...

from one subway weeper to another, i'm proud of you. it is cleansing isn't it? and one of the wonderful things about nyc is that it's rare that anyone will interrupt your tears.

rashad said...

Someone smarter than I said that you should laugh and cry at least once a day..so you're on your way

Eb the Celeb said...

Dope... I've been there one time... didn't let it fall from the duct but I know you could see it all on my face that I was crying inside and fighting not to let itall out... crazy I cant even remember what was going on that had me like that

£ said...

I cried yesterday too. Part of it was motivated by the movie i was watching -- gone with the wind wreaks absolute havoc on my emotions lol -- BUT if i'm honest with myself, then i can't deny that a lot of other stuff was on my mind as well. The movie was just the catalyst.

Anyway, all that to say, its very good to get a release. Like very good. Purifying cleansing, its like you're recharged.

Good stuff to let it out. Rock on with your journey girl. (and keep blogging about it!)

:)

oh and congrats on your the triumphant return of your phone! Now if only we could get the powers that be to get it crackin with that new model. Yahmean?

Dri_Mar said...

I normally hate crying and when I first do it goes on for hours. I remember one time I was at this big restaurant area at a shopping mall and I cried non-stop for about an hour. I'm glad my sister was with me that day.

P.S: I really like your blog. I check it almost every day. Wish you could write more.

Marcy Webb said...

My mother always said we cry because we need to cry.

I sometimes find myself crying @ the hair salon, in the store, @ home while reading something heart-wrenching. Sometimes I'm embarrassed by it. But, after reading your post, I will strive to become less so.