Friday, April 23, 2010


I know my absence on here is more consistent than my presence at times but this week has been one of those weeks. The disolution portion of this corporate divorce has me by the......well balls if I had some but you get my drift. The vice grip hold on my time, my thoughts, my mind is more like a suffocating choke hold. This week has been wake up, dash to work, crisis greets me at the door, put out multiple fires at once, curse, stress, pack, curse some more, leave work drained, drink to ease my nerves, pass out and start all over again. And yes I said drink. I've had a drink every night this week. Wine on Monday. Margaritas on tuesday. Wine & margaritas on Wednesday. Frozen apple martini on Thursday. Some may say I should exercise or meditate or take walk or some healthy life improving shit like that. Those all sound like lovely options but this week I aint got time for all that.

Yesterday was by far the far (Praying as I write this on the subway that today is not a repeat..and yes I'm going in on my day off. See why I drink?!). It started with the furniture guys cancelling my appointment to pick up all this damn office furniture. Apparently they skipped a day in kindergarten when a valuable lesson was learned. They don't want to share the frieght elevator with another tenant. So I'm scrambling to negotiate a new move out date with the landlord that happens to fall after the end of our lease.

In the midst of that I get into a shouting match with someone in the leasing department of the Copy machine company. I know I'm stressed but she started it! The only thing I will quote from that argument is "For $7.50 an hour it's not rocket science. What the fuck is your problem?! What's so hard about scheduling a pick up for this piece of shit" I know that's not nice. But she and allllll this stress took me there. Needless to say, the shit still isn't resolved.

As if that wasn't enough to send me over the edge, I had to call 911. Long story short, our computer consultant got really ill in one of the offices (I'll spare you the gory details). After he cleaned up, I thought he left (he said "Bye. I'll call you tomorrow to reschedule"). About 20 minutes later, someone knocked on my office door and told me that the guy was passed out in the men's room. Good Lord, Baby Jesus, save me and send me on vacation!!!!

And then the ridiculous happened. I waited patiently in the hallway by the men's room for EMS arrived (wanna feel like a perv for no reason? stand by the restroom for the opposite sex. The strange looks are priceless....and a lil dirty feeling). When they finally arrived, one went right to business. The other was cracking jokes and gave me the once over, you know the head to toe assessment. When I noticed it I thought to myself, Did she just give me the 'assessment'? Yes you read that correctly and this is not a typo. SHE!!! She then proceeded to compliment my blouse and the color (I must say the peachy tones of my blouse were quite nice on my skin tone as she noticed in her compliment but still that kinda fish is not on my menu). Before I could thank her she said "Mmm, you're cute!" with a wink! And that ladies and gents was when I, The Resident Butterfly, was officially done! D-O-N-E. I almost did a crazy person wall slide right there in the office corridor (for the record I did thank her - I have manners - and informed her that I was straight. Talk about awkward!!)

This day couldn't get any stranger or any more stressful. I'd reached my limit. Matter of fact, I was maxed out. I'm surprised my mind, body, and soul haven't charged me overdraft fees yet because I have to be wayyyy over my stress limit. I alternate between wanting to cry (I'm still an emotional woman), punch a wall (I think my male friends are rubbing off on me), or just sit in a corner and laugh (but that might land me in the land of loony tunes). I need overdraft protection. I never ever ever ever want to do this again. Well unless the money is reallllly good. (and that does not include getting hit on by a tatted up white EMS woman; there is no amount of money to endure that)

Okay I feel like I'm rambling and the subway is about to pull into my station. If any of you want to gift me a calgon take me away tropical destination vacation because you pity the foolishness I've had to endure, you know how to find me. Hopefully, I won't be in a corner in a straight jacket. I'd rather be in a corner with a cocktail.

-- Sent from my Palm Prē

*as you can see by the time I posted this, I forgot to hit send on my email. And no the day didn't get any better. Pray for my sanity please.


rashad said...

Since its Friday, I suggest you up the strength of your drink of choice. You have earned it. And how dare you shun the lesbos like that?

Redbonegirl97 said...

Girlfriend you deserve as many drinks as you can stand, then one on top of that one. Hopefuly you'll get some stress free time and the move will continue without any more drama.

Peace, Love and Chocolate

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