What I would not do......

I guess you’ve wondered where I’ve been
I’ve gone to find the love within……..*

Well, kinda. I know I’ve been MIA lately but with good reason (I swear). First, work. I think there is a culture in corporate America these days where your gratefulness for having a job in these tough times translates to you taking whatever BS that come your way. I can count on one hand how many days in the past 3 weeks or so where I’ve left the office before 6:30. And I get here at 9. Okay 9-ish but you get the point. Long hours at the J-O-B equals no time for M-O-I. My work/life balance has been wayyyy off kilter lately so I decided to something about it, which leads me to my second M.I.A. reason.

Two months ago one of my sisters asked me to join her on a trip for her 30th birthday. Between work and a commitment to another trip 2 weeks after hers, I declined. I thought about how great it would be to be with my sisters on vacay – something we’ve never done before. But work was beginning to get extremely stressful and I rationalized that I was being a responsible adult by saying no. Two trips in two weeks? Who does that?? No, no, no. I’m not going.

A couple of weeks ago, I cried myself to sleep on a Friday night. Work was getting the best of me. I was too tired to go out. I damn near burned my kitchen down because I fell asleep while cooking – something I never ever do (thank the Lord for good pots). As the tears dried into my pillow and I drifted off to sleep, I lamented that this is not the life I wanted or envisioned for myself. The next morning, I awoke to the double chirp emanating from my phone, notifying me that I have a text message. It was a message from my sister, asking me if I could reconsider coming on the trip because someone backed out. I sat up in bed and thought of the night before. I responded: “Lemme see if I can find a cheap ticket. I’ll be there.” I hopped out of bed and grabbed Carrie B. from her perch and fired my baby up. After about 15 minutes of searching the web, and comparison shopping I found a great deal. I dug in my purse looking for my credit card, and just as I was about to enter those 16 digits I damn near know by heart, I hesitated. Is this too frivolous? I just paid for my June trip. Is this being fiscally responsible in these economic times? Can I really afford to do this?? All of these thoughts crept into my mind, and I couldn’t bring myself to give Carrie B. my info to transmit to JetBlue. I sat all day thinking, weighing the pros and cons, actually afraid to do it (that’s what she said). Finally, around midnight, I took a dose of Fuk-itall, and purchased my ticket. Puerto Rico, here I come!

Now if I’m going to be honest (and if I can’t be honest on my blog what’s the point?), I’ve never had a strong desire to go back to Puerto Rico. I went once over 10 years ago. I took a cruise with my family and that’s where the ship began our 7 day sea adventure. Coming from VA, I got to Puerto Rico before my family. I did the responsible (read: broke college student) thing, and went directly to the cruise ship, checked in, and wandered a street fair by the pier. While that couple of hours were fun, I didn’t think I needed to see anymore of Puerto Rico. Let’s face it. I’m from New York City. I used to teach in the Bronx. Misguided people think I’m half Puerto Rican. I’ve encountered more Puerto Ricans in my lifetime that the average American. Why should I go to Puerto Rico when it seems to be in my back yard, so to speak? Yeah, I know that’s slightly ignorant but it’s the truth.

This is one experience where I’m glad my ignorance and fears didn’t win over. TE AMO PUERTO RICO!!!! The people, the beaches, the food, the beaches – I had a really good time. So much so, I’m trying to go again – within the next year (I'm counting on you guys to hold me to that...hahaha). Three days just wasn’t enough. In the midst of being there with 15 people (including my 3 sisters), I found the time to be very introspective. There is something quite magical about clear blue waters crashing on smooth sandy beaches that makes you (well, me) honestly examine my journey in life. I came back rejuvenated, refreshed, renewed. And slightly tanned. Only slightly, because I was cough cough sick on Monday and couldn’t justify coming into work on Tuesday looking like a browner sun kissed version of myself. This week found me back on the work grind with pressing deadlines, paperwork, meetings, and more damn paperwork. But I haven’t slept on tear stained pillows since I’ve returned.

*This is one of my favorite songs of all time. I can listen to it daily and never tire of it. But his ponytail mullet is killing me in this video. Hahahahahahahahaa