Monday, February 19, 2007

Unconditional steadfast is my love for you but all I get in return are conditions and stipulations. Like Mary said " Loving you/ everyday/ don't you look no more love without a limit." I could still sing right along with her but your words and actions are telling me the feeling is not mutual. I open up and you pull the rug out from under me. I'm empty, naked to the world, no longer confident in the woman I am. How could you caress the small of my back, infiltrate every aspect of my life, and then when I finally believe in you and what we have you snatch it all away? I waved the white flag and surrendered but you shot me anyway. I gave all that I have. There's nothing left. I wish I could hate you. It would make it so much easier to walk away. I should hate you for the person I've become but in some twisted way I blame myself. So instead of hating you, I hate me.
Omarion, can you tell me how you got this "icebox where (your) heart used to be"? I'm trying but my tears keep melting it. But I can't stand it. How much more can I take. One heatbreak after the next. I want to be cold. Cold will numb me to the outside world. Life will be easier without emotions. I can't trust my emotions. anymore. I'm through with love.

1 comment:

rashad said...

I feel like i have broken in your room, looked under your bed, and read your journal against your wishes. I hope you're alright