Thursday, February 08, 2007

Friendship, friendship
It's the perfect blendship.
When other friendships have been forgot,
Ours will still be hot!

No I haven't taken to writing poetry. Those are the lyrics from a song from the musical "Anything Goes". These words have been playing over and over in mind over the past week. I received an email last week from a news website that I've been meaning to unsubscribe from. Usually I delete them from my mailbox but on this particular day the subject line grabbed my attention and I opened it. It was in this random piece of "junk" email, I learned that the best friend of an ex-boyfriend passed away unexpectedly the night before. I was floored. Memories came flooding back of my interactions with this person. You know how it is - you start dating someone and through that relationship you develop fleeting friendships with their friends. My ex and his best friend were as tight as I've ever seen 2 grown men in my adult years. Right or wrong, they stood by each other and to me, there was never a question about their love and loyalty to each other. My memories of them are filled with jokes and laughter - even after the "relationship" ended, he always had a joke and a smile (along with the nickname he gave me that I haven't been able to shake 12 years later) whenever our paths crossed.

But I still can't believe that he's gone. I know death knows no boundaries. There is no guarantee that our expiration dates are in the far far distant future. There's no "perfect age" to die. But when you read that someone who was 38 dies of "natural causes", it's disturbing. What is natural about dying at 38??? Natural is the way my great-grandmother died - in her sleep after 92 years of a fulfilling life. While I miss her and wish to hold her hand, to talk and laugh with her, there was a part of me that had prepared myself for what was to come because as sad as I was I knew death was inevitable at her age.

Maybe it's out of empathy for someone I care about but I've been thinking about my best friends and how would I feel if they were gone tomorrow. I don't speak to these three women as often as we used to when we were kids but I can't imagine life without them. Because of who they are, what we've been through, and the possibilities of what lies ahead, I love these women as if we were born together(I'd still be the youngest!! LOL). Yeah I could sit here and say "oh I'm going to make more of an effort to call them, hang out with them, etc., etc. " but is that out of some sort of guilt that I may be feeling because I am blessed to still have my best friends here and know that there are only a phone call away? I can't answer that and I don't know if that effort is forthcoming. All I know is throughout my life when other friendships have come and gone, falling to the waist side, ours has always been hot through horrible wardrobe choices, different hairstyles, drama-filled relationships, and all the other elements that plagued us over the past 20 years. (SIDEBAR: damn I feel old when I say I've known ANYTHING or ANYONE for over twenty years. LOL)

To my girls: I love you more than I have ever expressed. You are a part of me forever and always.
Rest in Peace, Shawn. Thanks for the memories, and reminding me of the true qualities of friendship.


rashad said...

One of the bad things about emails and texting is that it gives you a false sense of keeping in touch with someone. Nothing beats that face to face interaction with friends, because that is where you truly connect with your good friends and family. And I'm talking to you AND me while I type this, because I don't always heed this advice

Anonymous said...

Awwww...that was beautiful, my friend.
Iam proud to be one of your three oldest friends and your words have inspired me more than you know.
Love Ya & God Bless...