Stumble

I started this 40 Writing Challenge with good intentions. But as the saying goes, "The road to hell is paved in good intentions." Not to say that the actual writing has been hell - for me that's the easy part, the joy. Once I have a topic in mind, I sit down and let the words flow. When I started the challenge, even I did a writing calendar - a daily list of all the things I wanted to write about. However, hell for me is Time Management.

I can't seem to get it together. I could blame it on planning my mom's birthday (this past Saturday which because of the snow storm I had to revamp all plans at the last minute, leaving me with a refrigerator full of red velvet cupcakes) and planning my National Holiday festivities (birthday was yesterday; festivities this weekend). But as I've recently told a guy (Starbucks aka Mr. Mink), "you make time for what's important". And I have yet to prioritize my love of writing which is just re-damn-diculous. How can I expect to grow as a writer if I don't work on it?? Athletes practice. Actors act. Writers write. And I'm not writing as frequently as I should. I suck.

I've tried writing in the morning but seriously my brain is not fired up that early in the morning. I barely grunt out verbal greetings in the morning so I know damn well I can't string words together into cohesive streams of thought. Late morning - midday is when the urge to purge words usually hits but I'm at work (yes still at the plantation - dysfunction at its finest to say the least). But here's the problem. Most days they actually expect me to do their work and not my own. Go figure.

Ray Charles may have belted out "You know the night time/is the right time/to be with the one you love" but my social calendar does not permit me to engage and be one with my writing. Too many distractions. Committee meetings, dinners with friends, the occasional date, running errands (groceries, laundry, cooking, cleaning), catching up on all the shows I've DVR'd. By the end of the evening, I'm falling asleep with my laptop in my lap. Where did the time go???

So what do I do now?? Today is day 16 of Lent and I've written 8 entries (including this post). Do I give up now? Do I start over? Or do I just pick up from here and keep it moving until the end of the journey? I think you know by now the answer. It may not always be brilliant but I'm gonna try my hardest to complete this challenge with more than a 50% success rate. While the school systems these days may say 65% is passing, I don't even want that shit. (Sidebar: how the hell is one standard deviation above the median considered passing?? 65% on anything is nothing to be proud of. Thanks for lowering the standards so low that there is no pride in the quality of education anymore. *stepping down from soapbox.* Carry on)

I've stumbled but I'm working on picking myself back up. So please bear with me through this challenging journey. I should have known this wouldn't be easy.