Q 4 a B-Fly "Guy Guru"

?: Who is the guy guru you speak of, and how did he get that title? ~ Anonymous

A: This question is so on time. My Guy Guru's birthday is tomorrow (Jan. 20) and what better way to celebrate him than by posting an entire blog about him (ummmm you know this means you ain't getting a gift, right?! hahahahahaha)!!

My Guy Guru is my friend, Rashad. While we met at our illustrious HOME BY THE SEA, we weren't friends until years later. I sometimes wonder what kind of friends we would be if we were as close then as we are now but I'm just glad he's around now. Neither one of us remembers how we met. It was more or less the "we go to a school in the South so we have to speak to everyone we pass on campus unless you slept with my man/woman, then I don't have to speak to your ho ass" introduction. We knew a few of the same people (one of his roomates was my Big Brother) so I knew him in passing. But somehow over the years that pleasant "Hey" has grown into him being my Guy Guru. I often describe his personality as the Black Larry David. If you watch Curb Your Enthusiasm, you get what the picture. If not, what the hell is wrong with you?? That show is hilarious. hahahahaha Basically, Larry says/does all kinds of inappropriate/non-social shit BUT its never malicious, and underneath it all, he has a good heart.

Guy Guru started as a blog name. Since at the time everyone was getting one, why shouldn't Rashad?? But it totally fits him. Like totally. To call him simply a "friend" would be like calling Kareem Abdul Jabbar simply a basketball player. He is like my brother, without the sibling rivalry, I'm tellin Mom/Dad on you bullshit. When I'm trying to figure out guys, I call Rashad. When I'm need to bounce an idea of someone, I email Rashad. When I need to vent because someone has thoroughly PISSED ME OFF...yep, I hit up Rashad. Oh and its definitely reciprocated. Through the years, he has been here for me. Making me laugh when I want to cry; encouraging me when I want to give up; listening to me say the most asinine shit without judgement. So before I shits on the bitch (private joke when either of us gets too mushy..guess who we got it from?), he is the best dude in my corner. As a matter of fact, you guys can thank him for this here blog page. He has a blog and inspired me to start this page. He is my most faithful reader (and commenter) to date.

I think every girl should have a Guy Guru, a male friend you can turn to when seeking advice on their brethren. Because let me tell you, Rashad has hipped me to somethings that I NAYVER thought about from the male perspective. But there are rules to this shit (I swear I'm cursing more in this blog because of Rashad. All for you, buddy...hahahahahaa).

1. Your guy guru has to be a man you have no desire to see nekkid. Seriously, you can't cloud your friendship with thoughts of "I wonder what it would be like to kiss/lick/suck/f*ck". This is not to say my guy guru isn't attractive. Quite the opposite. However, I've never looked at him in that way. Ever.

2. You have to know your role. He is my friend. Not my man. As a matter of fact, he has a woman. So I'm not calling him all hours of the night. I'm not sending provocative pics of myself. While we can have quite colorful conversations, we have boundaries. Once (at band camp), I spent the night at the apartment he shares with his lady. I could have worn a burqa and been less covered up. Sure I had to reach waaaaay back into my dresser to pull out big ass pajama pants, an oversized shirt and a robe but its about respect. I respect our friendship. I respect our boundaries.

3. You have to be willing to listen. He and I may not agree on everything but we have both provided each other with valuable insights into how the opposite sex thinks. Not to say that every man thinks like Rashad (thank God...hahahahaha), but generally speaking I know more about how men think now than I did before Rashad's insight.

4. Most importantly, find someone you trust. Lets just say if either of us ran for office, the other would have a sweeeeeet cabinet position to compensate for that lucrative tell all book deal we would be missing out on.

So there you have it. My Guy Guru. If you don't already check out his blog, please do. He writes way more frequently that I do (showoff).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RASHAD!!! YOU'RE THE BEST GUY GURU A BUTTERFLY COULD ASK FOR. I LOVE YOU, MANNNN!!!! (now proceed to shits on the bitch!!! hahahahahahahah)

(Me, ?uestLove of The Roots, Guy Guru. Fun fact: 2 people in this photo have the same birthday. The one with breasts is not one of the 2!! hahahaa HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GUYS!! Oh and I made this picure black and white because I was wayyy to light bright in this picture. I look like an albino standing next to these chocolate brothers. hahahahahahaha)

*keep the questions flying my way. I know there is something you're dying to ask me. Enter your question in the box in the right hand corner, or submit it directly at
http://www.formspring.me/ButterflyRefuge

Oh and I have a few blogs I'm working on. I promise I won't only do Q 4 a B-fly posts. Life's been a lil hectic later. Smoochies.