Wednesday, January 04, 2012

And so it begins. Again.

I received a message from a dear friend the other day.

I hate to be one of THOSE people but I miss your blog.

Since this person is a dear friend and not a creepy stalker and writes way more than I do, I had to accept his challenge. He may not have meant it as a CHALLENGE (gotta say it like Bill Cosby for full effect). But because I respect him, I accept the challenge.


Yesterday, another dear friend sent me an email with a link to a site with 25 tips for writers (I'm honored that she still considers me a writer). Upon reading the article, I realized all of the tips can be summed up into this phrase:

SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND WRITE DAMNIT.

Well....if that's not the universe sending you signals like all these weight loss commericals telling us to collectively get off our fat post holiday asses, then I don't know what is.

So here I am. Again.

I have to address why I stopped in the first place. For one, the topics swirling around in my mind just were so damn depressing. Out of control family issues. Watching a friendship unhinge, fall completely off track, and not able to do anything about it but watch. Love wonderings. Loneliness. Unfulfillment. Square peg in a round friendship. Etc, etc, and a cashmere sweater. Did you really want to read all of that?? Well, if you did, I decided you didn't and avoided coming back to my blog. (ALSO, blogger erased an epic blog that i wrote about my high school headmistress and I was pissed pissed pissed. Like I'd get fined, ejected from a game, curse the reporters at the post game interview, and suspended for the rest of the season pissed. If this blog gets erased like the last one, so help me butterfly, I'll need some metta world peace.....)

Secondly, and way more exciting, I dedicated myself to starting my own business. You are now reading the musings of the Creative Director and Founder of a greeting card and event stationery company (will post the new website soon). I started selling handcrafted cards last year and not only do I love it, but I've actually had people purchase cards from me. And quite frankly, I love my job. Seriously, I LOVE MY JOB as a trainer for the old folks but the money? Honey, not so much. And I need all the streams of income I can get without making a career of doing something strange for change. But this business start up shit is h-a-r-d. So many decisions to make. So many expenses. I started a business plan because I want my company to be legit. Writing this business plan is harder than writing a research paper and I haven't been back in school for a minute. I truly believe its worth it but writing the business plan made me realize how much I miss the creative process. There are no word flourishes in a business plan. No puns, no tongue in cheek. Just blah blah money money blah blah projections blah blah research. No word joy at all.

And so I'm here. Again. I need a break. I needed the word joy again.

So here I am. Reclaiming my joy. Again.