We Blamed it On the Boogie Before We Blamed it On the Alcohol: Q 4 a B-fly

Q: What are your top five Michael Jackson songs? - Anonymous

A: How could you ask me to pick my top 5 MJ songs?? That's like asking me to pick my ultimate top 5 pair or shoes. To pick one over the other is betrayal. Similar to a Lays potato chip I can't just pick one (or 5). So in no particular order here are my 5 picks. You want a countdown? Turn to MTV.....oh wait they don't show music anymore. Seriously what the hell does the "M" stand for now? Misled? Mush? Muchoshit??? Okay I'm stalling.

1. Butterflies. Come on! Look at the title of this blog. How could I NOT pick this song. It's a tender sentiment sung over a nice midtempo 2 step beat. I think of dancing with "that guy" at the end of a party. I think of summer drives, windows down, with "that guy". The song just makes me smile. And just listening to it, gives me butterflies.

2. Off the Wall. Seriously I think I listened to this record so much on my baby blue and white record player when I was a kid, MJ ingrained in me to live life off the wall. If you know me, you know I am conventionally unconventional and challenge life to be pretty much off the wall as much as I can. Since I can't claim the entire album (I'm trying to follow the guidelines of this question), I have to claim the title track as the one that does it for me. I could listen to this song ALL DAY ON REPEAT and sing along every single time. While prepping for this challenge, I listened to all the MJ songs on my iPod (Sidebar: I'm thinking about getting a new iPod. Any thoughts on the newer models. Don't ask me what "generation" my iPod is because I have no clue. Its white, has the click wheel and I've had it for about 2 or 3 years. LOL). When I got to this song, I played it back 4 times and chair danced/bopped my entire train ride. And then I had to listen to it one more time as I did my "Strut" down the street to meet a friend.




"There'll be no darkness tonight/lady our love will shine/just put your trust in my heart/and meet me in paradise/Now is the time/Girl, you're ever wonder in this world to me/A treasure time won't slip away"
3. Not only is "The Lady in My Life" one of my favorite MJ songs, its one of my favorite ballads of all time. Its loving, sexual without being vulgar, tender, and whoever he was singing about, he convinced me that he meant forever with this woman and not just until morning. Between me and you, whenever my love life (or lack thereof) has me feeling a lil off, I play this song. It affirms my belief that maybe one day, some guy will play this for me. And mean it.

4. Okay, I'm going to cheat a little and pick a Jackson 5 song next. Hey, you didn't specify strictly MJJ songs and for God's sake he sang on it so it counts right?! Its not like that group that used the voice of one of the Weather Girls in a song BUT used the body of model chick in the video who knew damn well she didn't have the poundage to belt out "COME ON LETS SWEAT! BAAAABAY, LET THE MUSIC TAKE CONTROL LET THE RHYTHM MOVE YOUUUUU". But I digress. Even picking a song from the Jackson 5 era was difficult. I mean Joe had them churning out albums like he churned out babies. But ONE of my favorite Jackson 5 songs is "Can You Feel It". Sure there are a gazillion other songs I could have picked but this song just moves me. Ask my friends, if this song comes on WHEREVER I am - at a club, in a store, in a car, I'm dancing. Hands overhead, eyes closed, body pulsing, all that (well unless I'm driving). Not to mention the message of the song. Its downright spiritual. It's so inspiring with its hope for a better more peaceful world, you almost want to scream out YES, I CAN FEEL IT!!! (*ahem, that's what she said.)



5. Damn one more song to go. Should I pick Liberian Girl? Scream? Blame it on the Boogie? Never Can Say Goodbye?? Dancing, Dancing, DANCING I'ma Dancing Machine??? I'll Be There? Remember the Time ( I mean who DIDN'T try to learn that entire video dance sequence)?? Dirty Diana??? Actually I wouldn't pick this song. It's my least favorite Michael Jackson song but I digress. You Rock My World? Or maybe I Can't Let Her Getaway? Or how about Heaven Can Wait?? You know what, I can't. I can't pick just one more song to add to this definitive list. I love them all, well except Dirty Diana. But one song out of a catalog as extensive as Michael Jackson's is unheard of in this age of "lemme git one hit on my cd" revolving one hit wonders.

So I leave this list unfinished just as Michael left his work unfinished when he left this Earth a year ago today. Damn, I still can't believe he's gone. It's still surreal. To finish this list would be to close a chapter, to end my love affair with his music. And that's not something I wish to do. Ever. I leave the door open to fall in love all over again with any one of his songs.

Yeah, you could say I cheated because I didn't fully answer your question by giving you the 5 songs you requested. Sue me. As the late great Michael Joseph Jackson sang with his brothers, "Don't blame it on the sunshine/Don't blame it on the moonlight/Don't blame it on the good times/BLAME IT ON THE BOOGIE"



Since you asked me, what are your Top 5 Michael Jackson songs? Feel free to list them in the comments below.

Smoochies,





PS To the person who sent this question to me, I apologize for the delay. You sent this to me in March but as you can see it took me a minute to answer this. First the list was unbearable to compile and secondly, it just seemed like a fitting tribute to Michael Jackson on the sorrow-versary of his passing.

PPS I know I haven't answered these questions in quite some time, but please feel free to ask away. I want to resurrect this feature on the blog but can't do it without you. Thanks.

Butterflies Don't Wear Tu-Tu's....do they??

In an effort to put myself on a routine and not be a complete bum during my FUNemployment lady of leisure days, I started going back to the gym. I may have exercise ADHD because despite the workout playlist on my iPod I get bored. So to avoid giving up, I looked up the classes offered by my gym last night. I noticed there was a ballet class offered today and decided to check it out.

As a kid, I took ballet classes and loved them. Sure, I stopped taking ballet about 17 years ago but whats that saying about riding a bike??? (sidebar: for the record, I don't know how to ride a bike so I don't know if the saying is true or not! hahahah)

Ummm yeah, about that ballet class..........

It became pretty evident after about 10 minute in class that this butterfly was never meant to be a ballerina. EVER. Thankfully, I remember some of the stances and positions but ummm that's about it. And to make matters worse there were only 3 students in the class - some Baryshnikov Italian Vogue model hybrid, a soccer mom yoga devotee, and me. Every comment the instructor made about "form" or "don't compare yourself to others in the class, I knew was directed at my ass. And I couldn't help but giggle which made me think of the following list:

The TOP 3 Reasons I'll NAYVER be a Ballerina

1. My bootay. I do not believe that I have the biggest, roundest, most audacious video booty on the planet. However, when the instructor kept reminding me to keeping my backside in line with my shoulders, I was reminded of a similar situation at dance school as a youngster. Back then, my instructor would admonish me to "tuck it in" as she pointed to my behind. Finally, I told her "I can't tuck it in no more" thus dashing my ballerina dreams even back then. My booty is gonna stick out. I can't help it.

2. My boobs. Now, my boobs have NAYVER been in the Pam Anderson league. Until I gained weight, I was a proud member of the itty bitty committee. And even with the weight, I'm still not some busty vixen....well not without the help of my Vicki Secret undergarments but I digress. However, its difficult to be gracefully with your movements with the fun bags in the way. Every arm movement change, I knocked into my breasts. I couldn't help it.

3. I look broken. For those who don't me, let me share a secret with you. I have hyper-extended joints. In hood speak, I'm double-jointed. And yes, Ive heard every joke about this, so spare me (remind me to share my friends' DJ theory one day). Since there were only 4 people in the studio, I got a chance to get a full length snapshot of myself moving through these graceful movements. And Lord please forgive me but I look like a paraplegic. My legs were bent way too far back for anything I did to look as graceful as I pictured it my head. In fact, it looked like I met a bully in a back alley and refused to give up my lunch money. And when I tried to fix it, my knees were too bent to actually move my ass across the dance floor.

So you would think that after this revelation, I would say to hell with this ballet bullshit. Especially since, my ENTIRE body is sore like I just went one round with Mike Tyson. Seriously, I do not recall ballet hurting this much. I KNOW I wouldn't have let my mother spend all that money on ballet lessons and tu-tus for recitals if the shit hurt this bad. Muscles I probably haven't used since my last ballet class are SCREAMING AT ME!!!!

Call me crazy, but I'm sticking with it. As a matter of fact, this butterfly is going to the same place my mom used to buy my leotards and slippers as a kid. But this time, just for the slippers. I'll save the tu-tu for a night out on the town.